Another New Day

[islander]

Thanks everybody. Just checking in. Nothing new with my sitch. No contact either way. I don't know what that means, but I feel blah (but getting better). I am fishing alot and working a little extra, so I don't have much down time. The draw back is other than keeping the house clean, I haven't done much yard work or home improvements, but I am getting around to it.

[ninelives]

Still reading your thread islander. Be patient man. Maybe in time these days with no contact will be a good thing.

Time as always will tell.

9

[islander]

I think I have been getting really down lately bc of the NC and te fact that this has been going on now for 6 months, and separated for 2 months. I keep thinking that wha happens in 3 or 6 months, how much further apart will we be. I feel very alone and abandoned, and starting to wonder if it is realistic that we can recon one day.

Then I think that people are separated all of the time, military deployments, for long periods of time. Granted they all don't have other people involved in their M, but the time apart in and of itself is not a death sentence to the M.

I am just feeling down.

[ninelives]

Islander, somehow, Way easier said then done, you have to take the focus off her. I'm trying to do that with little success but I have to keep trying.

My success in life should not be based on whether I can gain back the love of one woman.

My kids need me and I need to be there for myself.

We gotta really do this Islander or we will surely suffer a long long ,painful time.

She has to look at the new you and WANT to , REALLY want to come back as Scyalla often mentions, be the BANQUET, not the crumbs.

9

[islander]

I know you are right 9. I have been doing the best I can to stay busy, and that is not a problem anymore. I have more than enough to do, and I am always doing something. In the beginning I couldn't get out of bed or eat. That is not the case anymore. It scares me that I am starting to get comfortable in OUR house by myself. If I am getting comfortable, I can only imagine what she is feeling, but then I might not have any idea. I never thought I would actually be able to live in our house without her, but I don't feel that way any more. PArt of me wants to keep the house with or without her, but I still struggle with all of our memories her. Idk. Just a lot going through my mind these days.

[islander]

Nothing new. Had an alright day of fishing in the gulf. Hope to catch many more fish on Sunday, then learn how to fillet them.

W contacted me today about some bills she was paying. We exchanged several tm, but I stayed to that topic, and kept it short. She apologized about being 3 days late on the cc, and I left it alone at that point.

I feel ok today. My d and SD were great tonight. Seeing them together having so much fun kills me that somebody could hurt them by taking them from each other so easily. Oh well,, I will control what I can when I can.

[ninelives]

Just wondering how you are doing Islander.

Hope you are navigating this thing alright.

Peace

9

[islander]

i am doing alright 9. had my first "face to face or encounter" with W tonight. i went fishing with FIL today, and when we came home we were filleting our fish. W came to her parents house to pick up her D, and when she got out of the car, I said "Hey". She did not look at me, respond, or acknowledge me in any way. I kept on filleting my fish. A few minutes later, my D and SD came outside and wanted to know if my D could go to the movies with them. I said ok, and they were very excited.

W left with our girls and did not say anything to me. On there way back to her parents house, she tm me and said thanks for letting her take my D with them, and wanted to know if she could take my D to school tomorrow when she took her D. I said "of course" and she replied thank you.

when she dropped them off at her parents tonight, she came inside and went into there bedroom with her mother for a few minutes, and then left without noticing me again.

whatever though. I know what i want, she needs to figure out what she wants. My mil told me i should pursue her. I told her i was not going to, and that my W already knows how i feel. I asked her if she had spoken to my W about that, she said she had, and that my W knows how much i love her. I reiterrated that i did not need to pursue her, and my MIL seemed to understand. She said my W was not living with OM, and that she was very confused. All stuff I know.

Why is this so difficult. People wait their whole lives to fall in love and start a family, but then get "lost" and throw it all away....for what...really.....FOR WHAT?????

[ninelives]

I know exactly how you are feeling Islander. Asked myself the same question with the exact same intonation. There are some things that we may never get the answer for.

Your wife sounds very confused and Im sure she is just intoxicated by all the newness of her situation. They say its like a drug and cant see what is important. Almost like a junkie that knows what they are doing is bad for them but cant seem to stop.

I hope you can find peace in the fact that you have tried everything in your power to make it work.

At the end of the day, thats all you can hope for.

Rest well tonight my friend.

Hope tomorrow finds you in better spirits.

9

[islander]

Part of me feels like my W may be coming down off of her "high" and back into the real world. I may be completely off base here, but that is just my gut feeling. I know that she does love me, but I don't k ow what that means to her, or what she is willing to do with those feelings. She is confused, and I cant help her with that. She showed me last week she knows what she has to do to make our M work, it is up to her to be willing to do those things.

I am going to keep doing wha I am doing. Going semi-dark and having little contact with her but the essentials seems to work best. If it doesn't wake her up, it will help me get to where I need to be.