Just got off the phone with Beckie. We actually chatted for a good 30 minutes, but it really felt like all the sparks are long, lost and far away gone for her.
The worst part of it is, I am starting to feel a real loss of passion for her, as well. For me it has now been almost 5 months of daily DBing, and now we're closer to the divorce than when we started...
So to balance what I fear, here is what I want...
4. Next Relationship Milestone Along The Way: A commitment to get together and have some fun sometime next month.
...Right now she appears distant but not completely unresponsive...I'm feeling I need to try reeling her back in a little and see where it might lead.
'twas a hard day today.
SHAZAM!!! Abra Cadabra! As we speak, so we create! Instant manifestation!
This morning all I have to say is...
DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF CLEAR GOALS!!!
Last night I noticed I was teetering on the brink of despair. I remembered there is always a choice about the meaning that I give to things. I immediately put myself in a more positive frame of mind, and set myself another goal.
"Get together with Beckie in April"
Within 2 hours of setting that goal, Beckie and I were planning a caribbean rendezvous together for sometime in April! It was awesome we were laughing and joking about it and now she's all talkative and excited!
DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF CLEAR GOALS!!!
This is another awesome win for me. Another example of her turning. Even if she decides not to go, I've definitely got her thinking about us again and smiling.
And more importantly I am smiling too because I'm believing she's gonna come and have some fun!
Woo Hoo!
I am being the possibility of:
1) Integrity 2) Loving myself completely. 3) Things flowing naturally between us, without any fear or attachment to the outcome.
