WAW tearing up our family part II

[OnMyWay]

iM,

I'm with ya. I, too, know anger very well. However, all I've gotten out of it is permanent hypertension, a WAW, stupid decisions, regrets, etc., etc., etc.

I'm over MOST of it now, finally. W has learned how to push my buttons, so I do have to be very careful of that - I'll admit to flying off the handle last week - damn. Oh well, pick myself up and keep moving forward. I'm finding the one real thing I'm having a hard time with anger-wise is W's leaving and splitting up our family - I just can't forgive her for that; it pisses me off! She is somehow able to justify it, but my kid is innocent here and deserves better than what's she's getting.

I think the fact your WAW is still with you says a lot. I hope the best for both of you, whatever that is. As you already know, if she goes the grass won't be greener and she'll eventually realize her error, whether she ever admits it or not, and will probably try to come back. Just keep DBing and leave her be. She'll figure it out sooner or later.

3) Aknowledging ... that yeah .... maybe this behavior is telling me that she's not somebody I can/want to build a life with in the future. But me being mad at her won't change that. If my D has to grow up in 2 houses ... I guess she does. It wasn't my decision ... but it isn't the end of the world.

I'd like to know more about your feelings with regards to this and why you feel this way. I find I tell myself this very same thing quite often. I can't decide if it is just my ego, my hurt feelings, or if I really feel this way and am done - which contradicts the way I feel about my vows, the continuity of my family, and my D's happiness. I just dunno. I think, deep down, I want to go back to before all this sh!t started. From here it just seems like such a long road to never getting quite there, causing me to I wonder if it is worth it.

Try to stay positive - LOL, now there's some hypocritical advice coming from me, a natural cynic.