PINCH ME of HIT ME with a 2x4

[ninelives]

My drum lessons are on that way. Only road. Tried not to look but who am i kidding.

I went dark for three days but got home to her van in my driveway. Difficult for me to go dark that way.

I love my family and am so concerned for my oldest son. She mentioned to me last Sat when we had dinner that it was good to see him laughing again.

DUH! See the correlation. Family together, boy laughing,
Family apart, boy depressed. Not rocket science.

I told her today that I am going beyond dark, I want to be invisible to her.

She said are you going to erase our life together?

Cant remember exactly what I said but something like you have, and our life together was unhappy, Remember.

She said that she was only remembering unhappy times.

She is not well mentally and I was hoping she would be on her own to get healthy like she said but I fear that she is one of those people that always needs somebody.

The last thing I may have to lose is the little selfrespect I have left. Hard to say.

Just feeling down today.


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