It does sound as though your W is communicating indirectly,........no doubt part of the reason you find yourself where you are today. It sounds as though she has difficulty communicating directly now and in the past.
To my female brain it sounds as though she is feeling you out to see how receptive you might be to a continued R with her. I think it is possible and probably desirable to gently set boundaries in a kind and non-judgemental way. I have always been impressed at how gentle and kind you have been in these conversations with your W. I don't doubt that you can do this if you choose to.
You have time to decide how to proceed as long as you keep the door open at least a crack. I'm rooting for you.
