He asked me to go somewhere. Some place I hate going because of the crowd. The ONLY thing I said is "That is a odd place to choose." He said, "I thought you would say NO"
I said "Well, I didn't"
He has the fricken nerve/balls to say "I don't think you would say 'no' to anything right now"
Really? Seriously? Ooops, I forgot I hate that place and NO I have no desire to hang out there. Have fun~
My question: Why the test? Why THAT test?
me:51 H: 48 No kids together M:14 years seperated:Ask him to GET OUT 3/21/11 Piecing 09/14
I think my H is starting to think I am having an affair. 2 days in a row he has made a comment about how early I am leaving for work and how he doesn't hear from me each day. He says it in a joking tone.
Last night, he started talking about our trip we took to Greece and how funny it was that they only had Corona beer at the first hotel. Later he asked me if I remember "that trip to Africa we took and what was the name of the beer there?"
Should I back off on the leaving for work early?
me:51 H: 48 No kids together M:14 years seperated:Ask him to GET OUT 3/21/11 Piecing 09/14
Please remember this is all just my opinion and I am new
Originally Posted By: verysad2day
I think my H is starting to think I am having an affair. 2 days in a row he has made a comment about how early I am leaving for work and how he doesn't hear from me each day. He says it in a joking tone.
IMO he’s probing to determine what you’re doing and to reassure himself, using a joking tone to belay suspicion of his concern.
I used a joking tone a lot when I was probing for a reaction from w. if I received an angry retort I could always defend myself with “It was just a joke”. Not very mature. Doesn’t project confidence, something to 180
Originally Posted By: verysad2day
Should I back off on the leaving for work early?
From you posts it seems as though H pushes buttons to control your behavior. So it depends on what drives the early departure and what it’s producing in your sitch.
If it is a component of his probing then maybe not right away. If he perceives you are leaving later because of his question then he has controlled your departure. If he perceive you are leaving early to avoid him then he has control of a sort again.
IMO opinion more feedback and evaluation is needed before an adjustment.
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
Very I have to admit that I do not know your full story or how he has been interacting with you lately.
In your mind is this (HIS) contact a change for the better? Is there more of it? Is there interest on his part? Things like that.
Take some time to really figure it out, if it is better or worse.
If it is better why change something?
If it is worse?
Either address it, modify it, or last resort change it. I say last resort, because at times you don't really want to be dancing to their tune, if a change is still a GOOD change for you.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
I just did the biggest 180 thus far. At lunch I went and bought a new Verizon Galaxy. H told me to wait for him. Nope, I am all grown up. Your opinion of if I need it is pointless. This is either a HUGE step forward, or a back to the beggining move.
me:51 H: 48 No kids together M:14 years seperated:Ask him to GET OUT 3/21/11 Piecing 09/14
It's a move forward. It's showing him that he's not the boss of you. The thoughts of you having an A is his insecurity kicking in and his way of trying to control you again. Remember how he reacted when you ignored him? Same thing. He's trying to draw you back under his thumb.
He honestly has to feel a sense of loss with you. He has to feel that you are independent enough that you don't need him. You want him to want you and not run the risk of losing you.
Problem is that oftentimes the LBS will become so strong that they figure that they don't need the WAS's drama any more.
Keep this up. You are detaching in a healthy way.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I just did the biggest 180 thus far. At lunch I went and bought a new Verizon Galaxy. H told me to wait for him. Nope, I am all grown up. Your opinion of if I need it is pointless.
Good for you, nicely done.
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
"He honestly has to feel a sense of loss with you. He has to feel that you are independent enough that you don't need him. You want him to want you and not run the risk of losing you."
I believe this to be 100% true. He KNOWS this. I just remembered it. I was independent for YEARS before I even knew he was alive. I am better educated, have a far better grasp of money, have traveled the world and brought him along some, come from a very powerful family with connections all over the world(he likes this) and I am easy on the eyes.
He is soooooo confused. He doesn't want anyone else to have what he is throwing away, is my guess
me:51 H: 48 No kids together M:14 years seperated:Ask him to GET OUT 3/21/11 Piecing 09/14
