She just got back from S. America. She went with her girlfriend.
I told her that I was ready to move out of limbo.
W: I don't blame you I am too.
M: What does that mean to you?
W: I just am ready to move on with my life. I have to move out of the house by the end of April.
M: What does that mean for us?
W: I don't blame you I am sorry I made your life so difficult. I can't be married to someone who left me. I can't promise I won't hit a rough spot again and I'll wonder if you're going to leave.
M: You're right. I can't live with the person who was making the choices you were. I can't be part of that again. I am also not ready to have someone in my life that doesn't recognize that the choices they made had consequences. Someone who chooses to run away and into another relationship instead of taking responsibility for their choices. I can't be in a relationship like that.
So we can do this the hard way or the easy way where we agree to everything.
W: I will agree to whatever. I am not mad at you anymore.
I am so ashamed of what I did. I started running away as fast as I could from everything. I started dating someone. I thought when I married you that you were the man I should have married the first time. And I can't see you forgiving me. I wouldn't forgive it.
M: What does all this mean?
W: You deserve someone better than me. I am just not worthy of it. I can't see myself around your family or friends. I am not sure you even know the person you married. I am not sure who I was when I married you.
M: So you don't want me to get to know who you really are?
W: I just can't. I can't promise I will be the wife you want.
M: So you are quitting because you are afraid? I don't want to sound mean I am just stating what I see.
I have been completely faithful to our M since I left and I believe that our M is worth that and that you are worth that.
W: I believe that you have and that is a very courageous thing to choose for yourself. To not run away. It was a very good thing for you. I don't want to hurt you I just can't see us together. I am sorry for what I have done to you.
<<<crying>>> This is just a really bad day for me. I got back late last night and have to go to a work thing tonight.
M: I am sorry to upset you we can to talk at another time.
All I know is we make choices and we make mistakes and they are only mistakes if we don't learn from them and choose better. You have to forgive yourself for your mistakes. You have to forgive yourself first or you won't ever be able to believe someone else forgiving you.
I am not sure I am ready to accept someone back in my life that can't imagine themselves there and worthy of being there.
It is up to you W.
W:I can't talk about this anymore I'm at work. Can you call me later? I will be out tonight but later this week?
M: Yes I will.
W: Give dog a kiss on the nose for me.
M: I will.
End of convo.
She is in full remorse I think. Now what?
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
