OK everyone. I am new to this community and hoping it will be my salvation. My husband of almost 15 years told me he doesn't love me in any way shape or form. He acts like he has so much resentment for me and anger. Almost as if he doesn't care that I exist. I never cheated and in my opinion think I am not half bad. We have just had a life of constant arguments and miscommunications. He told me that we are not compatible and never have been. I of course disagree and in all of my studies and learnings about relationships the last couple of months realize now what it takes to make a relationship work. He of course does not beleive me and has no trust that things will ever change. He is almost more angry at himself for giving me the "last chance" he gave me that he is not about to let down any walls.
He is of the mentality that the destruction of our marriage is all my fault and he has no part in it. That he never did anything wrong. Not that he can give me any examples of what he actually did to make things right.
Now, I believe he is starting a new relationship. I think it is at the very beginning stages. This will make any chance I have (if I did in fact even have one) even harder. He sees me in such a negative light and I am not sure why.
I believe he is going through a MLC of sorts. He just turned 37. He has started working out, tanning, even started getting tattoos in the last couple of weeks. He has blocked his facebook account and changed most of the security settings on our computer. He is starting to listen to head banging music and acts and completely ignores me when I come home. He even has a different look to his face/eyes. Hard to explain. He barely can look at me in the face when I try to talk to him. It is almost like a switch went off a couple of months ago and he is a completely different person.
He says he feels like he has had an "awakening". He feels fearless and like he can do anything. He is tired of our mediocre marriage and in my opinion thinks he can have it much better if he can just find someone more compatible. He is not a christian but I am. He refuses church or even counseling and has a great deal of childhood issues that he refuses to address.
The hardest part is having the person that you truly love unconditionally not have any feelings for you in any way. Not even caring for you. I don't understand how this happens. I am not made of that fabric I guess.
Any advice would be appreciated. Anyone else in this boat?
