Standing up to the punches

[Redo]

Journalling....

I think i am going back to my dark days when i got up in the morning with a sick feeling.

Today i feel i might have a panic attack or something. I guess couple of things going. My parents are leaving this weekend. They were here for a month. And although we had quite a friction, i did love having them in the house. Now its just gonna be empty. A good friend and my colleague at work is quitting. I think both of these just rocked my mental boat and i feel like i am falling off the cliff.

Now everytime i look at my daughter's pictures, i cannot help but start tearing up.

In our discussion, i told my wife that i wanted to keep the home and buy her out. So i suggested appraising the house so that i can figure out how much money i would owe her. She said that she would drive down to the house on the day of the appraisal. It feels bad that she actually does not trust me that i would be fair. I cannot believe it has come down to this that my wife who knew me for 11 years thinks that i would cheat her on the house. Sometimes i cannot believe the level that we come down to when our relationships die....makes me never want to get into any relationship again.