It's Time To Rock; Part II

[gr8 day 2B alive]

Well guys, I think I just had a serious lapse of concentration.

It's ironic that it happens after just reading and replying to dbmods post about patience, but here it goes.

I guess a perfect storm of sorts...

First, I am having a few beers.

Then, my brother calls to tell me they just found out they are having another girl.

Then, my W sends me a pic of D with "Goodnight! See you tomorrow!" (meaning I will see my D tomorrow, not W)

I let that simmer for a bit and reply "*brother and SIL* are having another girl. Thought you'd want to know"

She replies with joke about how all everyone has is girls and a "congrats" that I am supposed to tell them. (tell them yourself!)

Anyways, this is where I broke. I felt myself steaming a bit. It all just hit me hard. Then I get into psychotic rationalization. "Coach told me to take chances" "I haven't tried anything" "This feels like the right time to make a move" All of that crap. So.....

I reply "Hard not to think about the plans we used to have but...At least D will have another cousin to play with"

She replies INSTANTLY. Ready for this? "I know..."


And that is where we left it. Nothing more from me, nothing more from her.

I really don't know what I did here. Have her thinking? Probably. But what is she thinking? This jackass is still trying to manipulate and control me? This poor sap is still living in the past? Or could she actually be thinking about the plans we had. What she is giving up.

CS,
You don't realize it now but you will ano day when the light bulb goes off. Six months from now when your reading your posts from now you'll realize that you have been sabotaging your own efforts to reconcile.

Honestly, STOP the texting! This is your Achielles Heel.
Also, never engage in communication when "you've had a few beers".

YOU CAN DO IT.
gr8