Maybe pursing a little Islander. Its not going dark thats for sure.
9
BITS M-46 W-42 M-16y T-19 y s10 s15 BombDec.19/09 Sep-F16/10 Sep Papers signed by W- June 30/10 Recon July 5/10 PA foundOut- Oct 30/10 Mental HospNov/10 moved out Nov/10 Leg Sep Mar 15/11
but Islander, I dont know if you give any of the techniques enough time to work. When she came around recently and half a$$ed wanted to talk about recon, what were you doing at the time.
But even so, the recon talk was not sincere or at least not sustainable for her.
I think they want to feel that way sometimes , like do the right thing but cant really do it for a real length of time and if they did come back, it wouldnt last.
9
BITS M-46 W-42 M-16y T-19 y s10 s15 BombDec.19/09 Sep-F16/10 Sep Papers signed by W- June 30/10 Recon July 5/10 PA foundOut- Oct 30/10 Mental HospNov/10 moved out Nov/10 Leg Sep Mar 15/11
I don't know 9. I am only doing the best I can. I don't see asking her to go to church with us as pursuing. I would be pursuing if I asked her And then questioned her choices, or asked her everyday to do things. I don't believe there is anything wrong with what I did. I am encouraged that she thanked me for asking her, and that she said she had also thought about going with us.
I believe in God and Jesus Christ, and that is where I am putting my faith, but that just doesn't make the pain go away. I will db the best I can, but if the opportunity presents itself like that again, I will act on it, but not pursue. I know many here will not agree with that, but at the end of my days, I am only accountable to one person, and need to do what is right.
BITS
M:34 W:28 SD:9 D:6 (pr) M:3 T:6 Separated 1/16/11 ILYBNILWY 10/25/10 PA discovered 11/12/10, began about 10/1/10
I am not who I was, I am being remade, I am new...
I agree with 9 Islander. You've got to follow whatever your chosen strategy is strictly and give it ample to time to asses the results. This was pursuit and was certainly not going dark. I think that you keep shooting yourself in the foot man. Sorry.
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
I guess I am just getting frustrated and impatient. The events of last week really did more to bring my spirits down than anything. I keep thi king that the longer that this goes on for, the less likely we are to save our M. I know there are plenty of success stories and that anything is possible, but that is just how I feel. This has been going on for 6 months now, and we have been separated for 2 months now. It is just taking it's toll on me.
BITS
M:34 W:28 SD:9 D:6 (pr) M:3 T:6 Separated 1/16/11 ILYBNILWY 10/25/10 PA discovered 11/12/10, began about 10/1/10
I am not who I was, I am being remade, I am new...
Lily - Going dark mean absolutely no contact with your spouse. No initiating contact, no responding to contact initiated.
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
Islander - Patience man! Patience! I think that you were making progress and then over did things causing you and your sitch to take a few steps back. Go back to the beginning... go back to what works.
Hang in there. Nothing worth achieving is easy. The rewards may be great for you.
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
