Stuck Like Crazy Glue II

[ScaredinCanada]

So my W ended up going to the bank to talk about her options for a mortgage and of course it just isn't possible. She told our banker that she has "decided to work it out for the kids", or at least that's what she told me.

It's such a crock, because she's only doing it because she needs MY money, but obviously it sounds better to say your doing it for the kids.

Although I annoyed with this fact, I'm at least happy that she's at least temporarily given up the idea of leaving. Until any strides are made with us on a romantic/commitment level I will continue to feel like I am being used by her.

I've told her a couple times that I know we need to take it slow, and I've made the mistake a few times of saying it'll take "baby steps" as she seems to hate that term. Regardless everywhere I've read that I need to start small, act as if I am attempting to date my W. I know she still isn't ready to go on an actual date with me, so I'm doing my best with the moments we have together around the kids to help soften her position.

Again I'm going to hold off on MC, until I believe she is truly ready to work on us. I've already told her my stance that I do not want to simply live as friends for the next 15-20 years while we raise the kids - but she seems to have ignored that for now.

Any thoughts as to what this faze would be categorized now? Should I attempt to piece the R back together - attempt to build a new R or just ride the "friendship" wave until she intiates something more? I'm attempting to support the friendship, believing that it's a better start than "nowhereville" where we've been for sometime now, while attempting to sprinkle in R type actions. (ie. gentle hand on the waist or back when in the kitchen or sitting close to her with the kids reading stories for bed.)

She still doesn't seem remotely interested to be around me unless the kids are around - she doesn't even seem comfortable sitting on the same couch as me.

No matter the stage, this is so difficult and still want to just hold her so bad, kiss her passionately...