New and saying hello

[~¤DG¤~]

Journaling now-

This morning I woke up without much anxiety, which is a welcomed change from the past few weeks.

I am trying not to over think or over analyze anything, but the bottom line is I am really scared.
I don't text H at all unless he texts first. Usually he is just saying Hi or wishing me goodnight and sweet dreams.
Yesterday he did say he missed me and that he would see me soon.
I take these signs as positive, but then I think I am getting my hopes up and then automatically think negative thoughts.
I've always played devils advocate and worried about "what if's."

Yesterday my C & I discussed the walls I have around my heart and why I always operate out of fear.
Oh how I wish I could snap my fingers and stop being so terrified all the time.

My self esteem really [censored].