detached from everyone - but ok...

[AntoniaB]

TAMF it is hard to let go of the "old emotional me", I'm struggling with the same thing! I keep tying that girl to the one who was happily married and who took the vows "for better or for worse", you know? But that girl was victimized and I know it, and she'll keep being a victim unless she gets off that merry-go-round.

I think what we have to work on is trying to reconcile living our lives now without these broken exes and not see what WE are doing as betraying any vows or anything. We are choosing to exit a situation that is dragging us into a place from which we and our families cannot flourish.

If these guys ever choose to come along on the ride to betterment with us, then great. We can entertain that idea if THEY are committed to change and progress. But until they do, the best thing for us to do is compartmentalize. We had some wonderful years with them, but right now, it's not that way. We are giving ourselves space to heal and be strong, and they impede our progress. It's not about being hardened. It's about survival of the fittest ;-)