This is helpful feedback. The end result that all of us here want to achieve is to save our marriage and rebuild the relationship with our spouses. I can make all of the changes and improvements to become a better person, but as long as there is a third party involved there is little or no chance of establishing a new relationship with my wife.
She needs to make a choice and she needs to know that her actions have consequences. To accept what she is doing without her having to face the reality of what she is doing cannot continue. I will have the discussion with her this weekend. I am on holidays next week and depending on the outcome of the discussion I will need time away from work to sort through my emotions and get my head on straight.
I will be very clear that she has to make a choice and just as she was the one who chose to have an EA, this decision is hers to make and I am prepared to live with the consequences. I have been DBing for almost 17 months and although I have made great progress, our R has not moved forward. We no longer function as a family, wife has no interest in doing anything family related and this concerns me the most. There is no benefit to keeping this charade moving forward.
