PINCH ME of HIT ME with a 2x4

[♪CS♪]

Donnie Darko
The Dark Knight

[Brian in Hville]

McDarkin myself
Dark Maul
lol

[ninelives]

All good darks. And I am.

I come home after work and making dinner when guess who shows up at my door. The Undark with the dark soul. My W. She opens the door but does not come it.

Converses with the boys for a bit, ask who is here and s11 says dads here but she does not come in.

So different from Sat, just a few days ago when we are having dinner here but I guess she doesnt feel welcome again.

I say to her, whats going on but she doesnt come in any further.

And she gets on the defensive immediately.
Her: " Why is there a problem?'"

I say no problem and they she contiues to talk to the boys and then says good bye to the boys and to me in the cold tone calling me by my full name which have discussed in the past always meant she was mad at me or indifferent and then she leaves.

I may get a text tonight.

Do I tell her that things are back to the way they were before all this Recon talk or what do I say to her?

I mean, I want to be dark but she is going to make it tough on me I think.

Also, I just mended fences with her sister and I kind of want to keep it that way but I know her sister will get pissed at me for going dark with her precious sister that can do no wrong.

I think Im up against it again, Any words of wisdom would be appreciated right now.

9

[♪CS♪]

Do I tell her that things are back to the way they were before all this Recon talk or what do I say to her?

Nothing Donnie Darko, nothing.

I mean, I want to be dark but she is going to make it tough on me I think.

You didn't think this was going to be easy did you?


I think your main benefit of going dark right now is to become less affected by her drama. This will take time. But as you do you will be in a better place and you will feel better. Coincidently, this is what may also draw her back to you. Be patient.

[ninelives]

Day 1 and no contact initiated by me. NOne either by her except for the very small 2 minutes when she dropped by to talk to sons.

Here comes day 2

9

[ninelives]

she called this morining, seemed flustered when i said hello.

Can I talk to one of the boys, she says. I immediately give it to youngest who is right there.

I dont even say one word to her. She has really pulled back. Obviously.

She talks to both kids.

Day 2

9

[ninelives]

Man am i having a down day. Just finished a workout with my class and just feel like crying for the first time in a while.

I have lost my best friend. She was that for sure and I felt that i was hers.

If this is all about intamacy and how she feels we have no connection, that is a huge trade for your entire life.

I will contiue with the darkness but I do feel an emptiness after spending the entire week with her last week due to the circumstances of her mothers death.

I wonder how things would have played out had her mother not died.

I can only imagine how effed up she is as everybody really says that about her now.

9

[♪CS♪]

Make sure you are making plenty of time for you during this period. Whatever makes you happy, do it. Beat those drums like there is no tomorrow.

If you decide to work in some contact, just make sure there is no R talk and no pressure.

First step though, just get your head to a good place. Find some peace.

[Brian in Hville]

9,

Call some guy friends and go do something. Go see a movie or a sporting event. Just get out there and do something to take your mind off things. It's really hard to not think about your W when you are sitting at home. Take the kids for a walk, the park, Chuck E Cheese!!! You are going to get through this. Keep up the good work brother!

[ninelives]

Thanks guys. I will play like John Bonham and Keith Moon tonight.
When they were alive btw.

Brian, you should see were I live. They roll up the sidewalks at 5:00 pm . I live on an island in ONtario , my town population 1500.

Busy in the summer but nothing going right now.

But I do get the point.

Just venting a little today and feeling sorry for myself a little.

9