to be honest an affair would not matter to me, I truly mean that. Of course it would hurt but that would not be where my issue lies. I just want to be loved and I know I cannot make another human being love me. I am going to do my best at just treating her as I would like to be treated and see how that goes.
I am at the point where nothing I say will matter and I might as well enjoy what I have for now.
Seems like a "DUH" moment to others I am sure but it just hits me sometimes. Monday's tend to be my really down days. Not sure why but WOW. They always do.
I even smoked a cigerette yesterday I was so stressed. MY first smoke in like 3 weeks.
