WAW leaving in June - Do I have time? - Part 2

[ninelives]

I already mentioned to you I think that my w denied an OM for over a year. Even when I caught her red handed via text , she still denied it and said it was just words.

Puppy dog tails said it best to me.
Cheaters Lie and they continue to lie.

Know it hurts S2D but as Sandi stated, its better to know the truth.

9

[Scared2Def]

Well I need to sto coming here fir a wile cause you all have me spiraling

[MrBond]

Actually this is the time when you need to get advice the most. You're going to need the support now more than ever.

We'll also help you craft a plan of action. You're not the only one who (may) have to deal with OP. Get proof first before you start accusing.

[♪CS♪]

Scared, listen to what everyone is saying. First, no one is saying that your W IS having an A, just that she MAY be having an A. Don't let your imagination start running wild.

If you agree with these opinions and you suspect that she is, you need to find some evidence before confronting her as suggested.

Many of us have gone through the same thing, so you are not alone. So as Bond said, this is an important time to get the support offered here. You may hear stories that frighten you, but remember, those are also not necessarily your story. Just information that may be useful to you.

I know it is hard, but try to stay calm and sane. If you let your emotions control you, you are bound to do something you regret.

Take care.

[Scared2Def]

we talked for a very long time last night and she seems to really think seperation will help out relationship. I do not understand seperation because I think if we cannot resolve issues together, how in the hell can we while being apart.

She said she wants me to treat her as a friend and then things will come with time such as hugs, kisses and so on. She did not say she loves me but it was pretty obvious she is just afraid to let down her guard right now.

I think she is afraid to tell me these things because I will revert back to the old husband she grew to dislike. I pointed out several instances to show how much I have grown and feel better about myself and life in general.

Who knows, I will let you all know how thigs continue to move along.

[MrBond]

Okay this is very important...

Did she say you were the problem and blamed either all or the majority of the problems on you? Or did she assume the blame and apologize for her part equally?

If she blamed mostly you, chances are (I'm not saying definitely) that she's seeing another guy.

What type of "separation" is she talking about? If she wants a physical one, dividing accounts, etc. then she's usually wanting to conduct her business in secret.

[Scared2Def]

Honestly we are both understanding of our mistakes and we both admit to them.

Right now she is saying she wants to seperate so that she can have time to regroup without the pressure of worrying about what we might do or say everynight. She is very concerned with the kids and stated she does not want them to keep hearing and seeing our lack of love and caring around the house.

She thinks it would be best for them to live in a house without the stresses.

Also she said that she wants to grow a friendship again and she told me that with that we will regain the physical, emotional feelings over time. She wants to learn to like me as a person.

Make since at all?

[ninelives]

Sorry S2D if I have upset you. I was just relaying what has happened to me and many others on this site.

I hope she is not having an affair and it is possible that she is not. Just keep your eyes open okay

Peace

9

[Scared2Def]

9lives,

to be honest an affair would not matter to me, I truly mean that. Of course it would hurt but that would not be where my issue lies. I just want to be loved and I know I cannot make another human being love me. I am going to do my best at just treating her as I would like to be treated and see how that goes.

I am at the point where nothing I say will matter and I might as well enjoy what I have for now.

Seems like a "DUH" moment to others I am sure but it just hits me sometimes. Monday's tend to be my really down days. Not sure why but WOW. They always do.

I even smoked a cigerette yesterday I was so stressed. MY first smoke in like 3 weeks.

[sandi2]

to be honest an affair would not matter to me, I truly mean that

Of course it would matter to you! That is why you've been so stressed since the subject first came up. You were going to leave the board b/c we "had you spiraling".

So, you had a R talk with W. Did you choose to do that rather than search for evidence of an A? Anyway, it appears the conversation went the way she wanted and as a result there is going to be a S. You sound relieved. Relieved that someday she might be friends with you again. As you said, you just want to be loved.

It's not a "duh" moment for any of us, Scared. It always hurts when we see a M fall apart. When a H faces the fact that his W is probably having an A. Although, you still choose not to do that, it's your business and you life.

We've heard the very same conversation, that came from your W, dozens and dozens of times from LBH's here on the board. In fact, I can predict that the two of you will have another argument or something won't go to suit her, the S plan will quickly change to a D. This converstion you had last night was the prep talk.

I hope you will stay here on the board, b/c I believe you will have a change of heart and want our support.

((hugs))