VS, I know you have difficulty GAL’ing and that having a life away from your H is one of the things he objected to, but IMO the best thing you can do right now is precisely that.
Go do some things that make you happy. Create some intrigue about yourself. Get him to wonder what is she doing. Maybe not 100% of the time, but say 30 or 40%
Riding his coaster will only produce more of the same angst. Give him a coaster to ride for a little while. Then evaluate the outcome.
Maybe it is just my perception but it seems like when you have been able to do a little bit of this he reels your back into his drama. Create some happiness for yourself and reel him into your drama.
It may not work, but you'll be trying something different and you’ll be driving the bus for a change.
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
