Sunday I got a call from the W asking if I wanted to go to the movies with her and kids. We all went and saw movie and afterwards went to the mall to get ice cream. At the mall I let the wife do some shopping while I took kids to play ground. We had to leave cause S3 needed his diaper changed and so we all went back to the house. I changed S3 and gave him a bath and played a board game with the other two kids while W relaxed on couch. (She has a cold).
Kids start to say they are hungry and I offer to make dinner for them. W says ok and I make family dinner for first time in 2 1/2 months. (I did 90 percent of cooking for the last few years of M). While dinner is cooking, I start to clean up kitchen and W joins me and asks me if I want to talk about movie (Fireproof) we watched on Thursday.
She tells me that she hadn't seen the movie before but says she knew what it was about. She said she wanted to talk that night but it was late and she was tired. She tells me that the movie had a lot to do with us and that she liked they way the movie told of saving your marriage. When she ask me what I thought, I explained to her my personal feelings on how my faith has strengthened and how I plan on living my life through God. She says that she is happy that I feel that way cause she always felt she was a nice person but wanted to have a better R with God and wants to have someone to do that with. I told her that if we did reconcile, then that would be a part of our new M. She said that she would like that.
The convo then turns more R and she tells me that she didn't like who she was married to and didn't like the way I made her feel. I validated that by agreeing with her that it wasn't fair for her to have to become somebody she didn't like because of my faults. She says that she feels selfish cause she has be thinking of herself since the bomb and I tell her that she has a right to be that way because I caused her so much turmoil for these last few years. She tells me that she has almost forgiven me for the things I have done to contribute to the downfall of the M and that in the past this has been the hardest obstacle to over come. I thank her for telling me these things and again say I'm sorry for my part in this. We talk some more about other things in the R, seeing a certified M counselor, where we are about me coming home (I'm ready, she not) and that we enjoy spending time together. At one point I ask her "I don't think I ever asked what you want for your perfect M, what do you want with us together?"
"This. What we did today is what I want."
We eat dinner and sit down to watch a tv show before they take me home. While watching tv, W and I sit in the same chair and cuddle. Felt great.
So I got kids tonight and we have dance/dinner tomorrow. We also have plans for a night out for the two of us this saturday. She doesn't know where we are going but I'm taking her to a five star restaurant downtown, followed by some dancing at a bar that she loves. I think we are headed in right direction, my next question would be do I keep things the same or try and reel her in with quality time between us with signs of love/affection peppered in?
