Recovering after a same sex affair - Part 4

[sparks14]

Thanks, AJ. Couples therapy is interesting when one side isn't really into it. Sometimes I think that my W would just quit going if she had a chance. In the end, I tell myself that she does have a chance to make that decision. Much like everything. She has made lots of choices in our situation, but she is still going to therapy for herself and for us together. I think it is the weekly reminder that we have to be on the same page regardless if we end up together or not due to the needs of our S.

It has been mostly me steering the therapy ship. When there is no agenda, we begin talking about our relationship, where we are currently, and where we may be going. This opens up some serious communication. Our therapist could be the kind that just sits back and soaks in our conversations and then adds something she studied at the end. Ours is more likely to get actively involved in the discussion. Not to say she gives tons of advice, but she does offer value to each other's thoughts where we might not see it. My W has said that she has gotten upset when the therapist would put words in my mouth, and I have of course been upset when the therapist mentioned that a toddler needs their mother more and 50/50 might not be the best choice.

Since my W is the one that is halfway out the door, she is not one to initiate much of this conversation, but she is at least willing to communicate what is initiated. For me, I am in a much different place. I am striving to open up the lines of communication, so it has been easier for me to get things started in therapy.

I just thought it was kind of funny that my W has been so concerned with me validating and listening to her. Almost as if this is a bad thing. I just need to stay consistent.