Thank you, both. Very much. Two very good points of view.
I think this is the crux of my situation, really. Limited options, none very good. I won't leave. I won't find myself an OW. So I can either talk this out or endure it.
My recent experience suggests that *IF* I can endure it, things between W and I seem better. That's been a powerful lesson. I don't want to mess that up. So I take Sandi2's point there. Sandi2, you've given me great advice before and kept me on the path.....I believe you, that this wouldn't go well. Absolutely right. And I imagine that whatever is going on will have to take it's natural path regardless.
But I yearn for some basic respect. And I've learned a lot and grown much as a person and a husband - and I was pretty good to start with, really. I do an awful lot to support my W's goals and dreams.
Yes, I'm quite sure if I bring this up my W will yell and call me names and question my manhood, then sulk and cut off the affection for a while.....and, after all, she could be right. Maybe there's absolutely nothing going on. But I might win back a little self-respect too.
A toughie.
<warning: venting ahead>
I'm not suggesting this or saying I'll do this (I won't, period)....but why is it that many on the "what makes a man attractive?" thread pointed out that if another women were playing with their H, Ws would suddenly find their husbands more attractive. Is that what it would take to prove I'm strong and good enough? (Harrier, hey look, there's a whole BAG of cookies over there.....kidding man, you know that....) OK, calming down. There are evolutionary psychology terms for these behaviors - I have a shelf full of books about them. Ironic, isn't it.
<all clear: venting over, sorry>
Could there be a way to essentialy cover this same ground without a conversation? I'm at a loss.....
