I intend to live forever - so far, so good

[ClingingToHope]

Last night, I looked at the trip to South Dakota photos she took last August. Very telling. This was no trip with friends. This was a trip with one special friend.

I was mad at myself for even looking at them -- but I needed a bit of a slap in the face so it's a good thing really.

I have no idea what's going on with them since, but it doesn't matter. I've been getting sentimental and thinking --- what if?

That's stupid on my part. That August trip should have been the last straw for me, but I wanted to believe it didn't mean anything.

She's a liar and a cheat and I hope the day it's over I go off and have a pity party and then realize I'm better off.

Part of the sentimentality is I've been spending more time with her. We had dinner together for D12's birthday. We went to their theater auditions together.

Those were tough on me because I think it could all work out if ..... Going forward, we can continue to do some of those things together, but I just have to remember she's a liar and a cheat and I'm better off.