New Miserable Person - WAW

[zengypsy]

Brian:

Just getting caught up from the w/e. Go back and re-read the thread of what your best friend told you. He was dead on. We can tell our WAS's until we are purple, blue and pink that we have changed. Words, Words, Words. How many times have we made these empty promises and reverted back to our old ways? If the roles were reversed what would your view on this be? Think about it. I tell people all the time, that if I were my STXH, I wouldn't trust what I said either. I've pleaded it, begged it and wrote it in a letter. Trust has to be earned back in time and so does friendship.

And so what if she decides to go back to her maiden name. It's a minor formality. Another attempt at control and trying to re-write history. Don't let these define who you are and who you've become. It will just prove to our WAS's that they were right about us.

I keep thowing what TrueGritter said to someone else in another thread because I think it's worded so well and you could present this in a letter or if you speak in person.

"Dear W, I've told you before that I still love you and still think that we can have a great life together as both a couple and a family. I've not changed my mind on that. But I understand you are not happy, that you do not feel happy or complete inside.

You need to do what will make you happy. By my side, we live as partners, we share everything and we would do anything to help one another. But that's only if we continue as a team.

I won't stand in your way. But I also will not help you leave this marriage or this family. And I will never accept another person being a part of our life together.

I hope you find the happiness you are looking for. Go do what you need to do. You know where I will be."


If you read these words as perhaps part of a daily mantra, it keeps the progress in perspective; JMHO. I know when I am in court next Tues this is some of the dialogue I will say to my STXH IF he initiates a conversation with me after the D is final.

Hang in there.