I am so glad I went to church yesterday. Rev. Gary has such a knack for having just the right message when I need to hear it.Yesterday it was "It's Simple". About caring too much about things. Possessions. The truth is, both the tiller and the D/R mower were too big for me to use, and he can't use them either as his back is wrecked. And the power washer? Well, I could have used it to stain this house with, but why exert myself or spend money on a house I won't be in?
I did buy flowers to plant though, and more humus and peat moss for my little garden spot. It was by far to windy on my little mtn. to do any work outside though.
I have about six weeks until our court date. I think I need to begin collecting my thoughts on paper, to prepare myself for the inevitable.
The long and short of it is that things are just . . . .things. They have no value in comparison to the 20 year marriage that is being terminated. I still love the man that he was, the one that I married, but I do not get a chance to ever see that person.
The hardest pill to swallow is that I truly feel that he hates me, and I don't for the life of me know why?
