Re-Bolt

[Bolt]

I ended up doing just that. I thought about what I wanted to talk about and we did this morning. I just asked her what she thought our next step should be and she wasn't entirely sure. She asked what I thought so I laid things out. Not an entire game plan but more like suggestions.

Surprisingly, it went pretty well. We didn't get into specifics but I know she wants to work on it and made me feel even more secure.

Somehow, we got to talking about something else though. It was about something I said 8 years ago. It brought up a little pain for her but mostly shock from me. I couldn't believe I said the words she said I did. I couldn't even remember the convo.

I reassured her that is not how I felt nor did I ever feel that way and apologized for all of it.

Later in the day, I emailed one of our friends who was there about the convo. She laid it all out on the line. I was a friggin pig. I couldn't believe that I said what I said. It truly hurt to hear what I had done to my W.

so even later today, W came home and was super supportive to me through this day. She's such a caregiver and remained very calm when I was nearly having a panic attack about this move. She soothed me instantly.

I then wanted to tell her about the 8 year old convo. I grabbed her and held her tight. She returned the favor as I let it all out. I said I never wanted to hurt her like that. Never felt like that, never intended that. I then told her how important she was to me and always has been. I treasured her and am only now being able to express it.

It was a good 2 minutes or so. She put her nose in my neck and held super tight. We haven't been that close in weeks. I think she needed it too.

After that, we chatted a little more and hugged again. We went right to the tight hug, no wimpy hug

There were a little bit of tears but no waterworks. She's a processor and I don't think she really got the full meaning of what I was saying. I'm sure she'll swallow it all in and feel like we've moved a big step further.

By the way, all of this was after some of the best snuggling we've done to date. I'm expecting a pullback (as it always happens) but to not let it bother me. That way, we can keep moving forward.

The rest of the day went pretty well.