PINCH ME of HIT ME with a 2x4

[ninelives]

Starsky, I will go dark, trust me I will. Its just this last week while she copes with the loss of her mom that I feel I need to be the bigger person and show her that I can put my differences aside for the greater good.

I think that if I went dark right now it would be perceived that I am a prck and only think of myself.

So I just got back from dinner with my boys, her and her family,

It was uneventful. My Bil who has been giving her the cold shoulder for a long time has also put his differences aside for now.

She hugged him and he asked her what she is doing by doing all this nonsence and she says she doesnt know and then he asked her why is she continuing it and again, she could not answer him.

Her entire family thinks she is mentally unbalanced.

She was nice to me for a while but then sort of got a little cold and said goodbye to everyone and then said goodby, (my name)
in a half hearted tone.

She seems like she is in a deep depression tonight.

Dont know what to make of it and really dont want to analyze it.

Please dont think that I am not taking your advice TG, Sandi and Starsky, i am, but I have to finish off this mourning until I can get back to doing what is right.

I will go dark, there is no doubt in my mind that i will be able to do it.

the question is, will she be able to not persue while I am at this dark period because I think she has really taken notice of some of my changes.

Like I have cut my hair, I am very concerned about my appearance, always clean shaven and freshly showered when I see her and also always make a point of helping with the dishes at every function.

Her brother has already mentioned that it was I who convinced him to come down and nobody else was able to do that and he thanked me for convincing him.

She has to be noticing all this and wondering what the hell she is doing.

IDK, at the end of the day and when all this BS is all over, I want to be able to hold my head high and say I tried the best of my ability to hold this family together and I will be a better person in the end whild she struggles on with her life.

Time will tell.

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