Situation Normal; All Flummoxed Up

[crushednstuck]

Had lunch with W to discuss financial matters. She indicated that I seemed to have "moved on" giving my actions taken without consulting her. I took this to be a success, however, she said if this was the case that we should move to something more permanent. She continues to view my detachment efforts as further evidence of my inability to communicate during our M. She still wants me to "fight" for her.

I thought, "so all the D bluster to now was not permanent?" Either she doesn't want the stigma of pulling the trigger and filing, or she's really not ready.

Friends confided today that they had seen her two weeks ago meet OM at a local restaurant and kiss him when they met. They were understandably very uncomfortable and apologized for not saying something to me sooner. While the anger pang of knowing she's out flaunting her new R began to flare, I was almost happy to hear that once W saw our friends sitting there, she immediately left and made OM pay. He apparently rolled his eyes and huffed while paying out. Hilarious. This douche has chased her for years, finally scored her; and after a year and a half, she's embarrassed to be seen with him. Yet he's still hanging in.

During lunch, she said she might not end up with this guy, but still totally ruled out counseling with me. Via a previous email, I restated my boundary that the affair end before counseling begins. Of course, she thinks I'm trying to manipulate the situation.