Had an interesting talk with my best friend last night...We went to the movies then had some drinks. He is alsoreally good friends of my W too (sheintroduced me to him as they work together). He turned to me last night and said, man,I am good friends with both of you but you are my boy. I have to ask a question. He asked me why I love my W. That was an easy question as I ask myself that all the time. I rattled off many reasons for the next 10 minutes. He then asked if things don't turn out the way I want them with her, would I still want this change that I am working on. I told him YES...The change is for me. I hate being the man I was (which wasn't much of a man at all). I want this change desperately as I don't ever want to feel that way I did. HE told me that was good. HE then started to say that he talks to my W about this some. He thinks that if this change is a perm one, that once my W and I become friends again, he thinks there is a chance we could get back together again. It seems she is afraid that my change isn't perm and that I am only doing it for her. We talked about other things as well but that was the major one.
Well...That really helps keep me going mentally and emotionaly. But I do also know that I need to get to the friend zone first...THEN I need to take it REAL SLOW after that. The old m and R is dead and that we have to start a new one when the time comes. She needs to fall in love with me all over again. So I stopped cleaing for a bit to write this. Now back to cleaning!!
