Thanks for advice. Am still struggling - strange weekend. Did some things I really should not have done including sleeping with h - initiated by me, h was certainly not 'making love' but just having sex with me. Unfortunately I feel so desperate for his love and attention that I settled for that. H says he cares deeply about me but loves her. He says I can be controlling (I wish I did have some control!!) but that with her they are equals. He says he wants to be with her but does not want to leave just yet as he wants to support me & kids through this first. He says he never argues with her & that she is the best thing that has happened to him. I just want a normal life with a normal husband - like I used to have! I just don't feel that I can go on without him and can't stand the thought of him with her. How could he love her more? We've been together 20+ years, have 3 kids& I love him so much - I wish he could see that! I am hoping he relationship with her will fizzle out but it just seems to be getting stronger. The ADs are making me feel strange - really full of energy one minute & exhausted the next. Still not sleeping properly or eating. I just wish I could do something to make him open his eyes and see what he stands to loose! If only ow was not in picture I know he would love me again : ( I am worried that if I do the db stuff it might give h the impression that I am over him & give him green light to move on. So confused and unhappy.
