Originally Posted By: Truegritter
I still see you framing your life and your choices by what your H is doing, choosing, what he might be feeling etc.

And the lack it is causing you in your life because of what he is choosing right now.


Framing my life? No. His absences however, makes certain choices and action nescessary. Living it with his absence and almost total disregard. Trying to do what's best for our family. Trying to find work and make a life without him or dependancy upon him.

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Can he be helped? No one here can tell you that including you.

He can be helped. If he wants it. I see no evidence that he does.
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All of this is causing you pain.Yes?


Yeah where i'm not numb, I hurt. I don't hurt all the time or everywhere. Just in spots. It doesn't consume me. It does affect me in quiet times, when I'm alone and before I sleep and when I dream. Last night I dreamt I slapped his face and screamed at him. That was a mild dream compared to some I've been having.

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Will the pain go away if you run away from what you perceive to be the source?

Or

Take control over the source.

The source is not your H.

It is you.

That is what I mean Scylla.

It is YOUR choice to suffer this and you can just as easily choose not to.


Yes, so I've been told. Unfortunately it isn't just turned on and off like a switch.

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How do you think you can do that?


Been working on it, am working on it.


BITS
Me-51, WAS-52
Kids 2
M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013
Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice.
Love is a action and choice you make, every day.