Originally Posted By: Scylla
I believe if I started to see and sleep with someone else he'd just shrug and say " good for you".


If you are doing this for what he will see, do, or react to you.

You will fail.

Why are you doing this?

Originally Posted By: Scylla
Fact is unless he addresses his own wounding and damage I don't believe we have a chance for reconciliation.


Absaf@ckinglutely!

That is the truth so what do you do with the truth?

Originally Posted By: Scylla
H's perspective of the past will remain, no matter the changes I've made in or to myself.


Who did you make the changes for? For Him? Expecting some change or reaction?

THAT is a dead end road.

Do for you.

Because doing that will only leave you feeling like this:

Originally Posted By: Scylla
I feel defeated and hopeless, I believe any chance I may have had to turn things around is long gone.


How does that feel?

To place your success or failure in the hands of someone who doesn't understand the meaning of YOU...

Or what you have endeavered here...is a lost cause.

Scylla I know well these feelings.

I also know that you have this in you.

What?

To understand what this thing that has happened can bring to you.

You will not merely walk on in the naive shoes you have walked all your life.

What does this mean? What will it mean to you in the next relationship?

This.

Is the time to figure it out and you have to endure to find the answer.

I don't mean sacrifice.

I mean beyond your pain is the answer.

Beyond what you feel today you will be free of this from him and of anyone in your life.

Figure out what this means to YOU and YOU only.

Then do it.

My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am