PINCH ME of HIT ME with a 2x4

[ninelives]

IN a little pensive mood today.

Just trying to fiugure out something that is unaswerable.

Why would a mother walk away from a life where there is potential for happiness.

I know that she was unhappy and there were things that I was blind to and yes I wasnt always as attnetive as I should have been.

But when she came back, she did notice the changes and made comments on how hard I was trying and that even the first time she knew I was a good husband, way better than most around here.

She recognizes that she has mental issues and that she may never be happy so my question is why would you compromise the happiness of your children and the security of your home to live a lifestyle that is uncertain at best with a man that has two young children, is NOT respected in this town, Has a dead end job and is not attractive.

She says she doesnt see a bright future for herself and is now working as a Nurses Aid where she doesnt have a concrete schedule and will basically be on call for the unforeseeable future.

She got 60 thousand bucks from the settlement and on Thursday and is already down to 34 thousand from the debts she owes.

Has no pension and did not go after mine which is a very healthy one. And is only getting a couple of hundred bucks a month for child support.

Has lost the support of some of her family and from some of her friends. Realizes she is a laughing stock to some people in town.

BUT STILL continues down this path of destruction.

Can anybody explain this to me?

9
BITS

[islander]

I have the same questions 9. I don't really think there is an answer for them either. It just describes a very lost individual. My W is not even the mother she was to her D by a long way, and she has even made those comments herself. I really don't know.

[♪CS♪]

If I could explain that I wouldn't be here. I would be making the talk show run and then retiring on my yacht.

[ninelives]

Like to be on that yacht.

Okay another update. I called and asked how she was doing today.
Still being the support for the mourning. Less than a week.

She says she feels a little better and then we make small talk and then I quickly say can i talk to the boys.

Talk to my youngest, we make small talk and then I ask him whats for supper. She is going to have some pasta I bought for them and then he asks If I want to come for dinner. I said whos asking he says mom.

I have ribs thawed and ready to cook so I ask them if they want to come here and she accepts.

Just want to keep it really light, the four of us will have dinner at my house which she has not been welcome to come into for a very long time. She designed this house BTW when we built it 7 years ago.

She is living in a tiny little house that although its cute, for a starter house, its not what she would like at this juncture in her life.

As a matter of fact, our previous house which is way bigger than her current house was waaaaaaay too small according to her.

So i am expecting them any minute now.

Hope this goes off without a hitch and NO anxiety for me. I MUST not look at her too much and picture her as my wife. Just a guest that has come for dinner.

Wish me luck.

9

[♪CS♪]

Now 9, we're not gonna do anything stupid, are we?
Nobody's gonna hurt anybody. We're gonna be like little Fonzies here. And what's Fonzie like? Come on 9 what's Fonzie like?
Cool?
What?
He's cool.
Correctamundo. And that's what we're gonna be. We're gonna be cool.

[sandi2]

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?

If you plan to go dark after the funeral, why on earth are you doing this?

[Truegritter]

^^^^^^

9 you have to detach from this.

[Starsky309]

I will go dark

I called and asked how she was doing today.

Do you see what you're doing, 9? You're all over the map. PLEASE listen to what people are trying to tell you!


STarsky

[islander]

I hope you are doing ok today 9

[ninelives]

It was all good. Really. We watched a dinner , the four of us, youngest one, and her went out and played catch with the football and then when went in and watched a movie.

Peewee Hermnan, kids laughed alot and so did she.

I was very light with the conversation.
She texted me later and thanked me for a great evening with the kids and said your welcome.

That is all.

I said I was going to detach after all this funeral stuff was over and I will stick to that.

Just trying to help her through this difficult time.

I actually did very well. Despite the longing i have had to get my family back together and I did see tonight a beautiful family worth fighting for.

I know I cant control her road down the bumpy path she is on.

9