I see where my thought and sentence structure didn't come out on paper very well.... Maybe you made a little sense of it.
I can appreciate making a daily goal of some house chore, b/c I have been in that "place" in my life. Not doing certain things around the house made me feel bad about myself. The result of feeling bad about myself would come through in my attitude toward my family. Not a good thing.
Even though I believe those things are very important, I also believe the inner work to build your self-esteem is the most important of all.
I understand that you might be hesitant to GAL when it took you away from H in the past. However, things have changed now. Even though you are tempted to do what you might should have done in the past.....you can't stay at home, glued to his side now b/c it turns him off. See what I mean? Yes, he didn't like you gone all the time before b/c you over-killed GAL and didn't have balance in job, GAL, and being home.
Quote:
When I get ready to leave the house for the day, what do I say? Do I tell him where I am going? Do I remain vague?
If it were me, I'd just tell him (as I head for the door), "I'm going out...see you later". If he should ask where or any other details, I'd shrug and say..."Haven't decided yet." (Showing an upbeat mysterious smile) Being vague should spark a little interest. Maybe not in the beginning, but as you continue to go out, it should.
Visiting your D is fine, but to him...it would be considered a "safe place". But, the fact that you didn't invite him along will be something. It's important to show that you are upbeat.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Maybe you made a little sense of it. 