You handed her the reigns of your emtions and now you see what kind of shape you're in. Long past due to take back the power of your own emotions. As long as you are having anxiety attacks due to any contact with her, I think you should go completely dark after the funeral.
Don't use that old excuse of having to contact her b/c of the kiids. That don't fly, expecially when they are old enough to do the contacting themselves. I have seen this over & over with LBH's. I wonder sometimes if they are actually that blind to what they're doing or if they think it just sounds legit.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
