It's Time To Rock; Part I

[♪CS♪]

I just had my 3rd coaching session so I thought I would journal it a bit.

It has been a few weeks so I spent some time getting her caught up on my sitch. I told her about the walk we had a few weeks ago, the Jamba Juice she brought me, and the things she did for my BDay. I also mentioned that I had been seeing another W. No surprise, she did not think it was a good idea. I know it as well, I just need to end it already….

Anyways, she did again emphasize the time aspect of all of this. She reminded me how short of time 2.5 months is in my situation (W having A). She reminded me time is my best friend, and she is encouraged by my W’s behavior and the fact that she has still not filed for D. I questioned my current technique with her a lot. One thing she really emphasizes is being unpredictable and the willingness to try things, and take risks if they are genuine. I realize that I have not really taken any risks; I have been pretty status quo in my technique. She still does not recommend a fully dark approach, rather, as noted above, stay unpredictable. Don’t always be there for her, but don’t disappear completely either. I have been trying to do that, but a reminder is always nice. So, I think I will continue to reply to some of her messages, but definitely not all of them. She had a great analogy here about a puppy vs. a cat. Be like the cat!

She gave me a great letter template to make an apology to my W for what I did wrong in our M. I like it a lot and will work on it in the coming days. She noted that the big thing here is timing. She doesn’t think right now is it, but perhaps if she does end up bring up D, it might be a good time. I joked, “Hopefully I will never need it.”

I’ll just bullet some things out so I remember them:

• My W is very confused. This is why she continues to find excuses to contact me and has not filed for D.
• I need to stay unpredictable and not always be there for her.
• I need to take calculated risks in my approach.
• I need to remember that I know my W better than anyone and to use that knowledge to my benefit.
• I need to remain patient. Without creating expectations, she noted that a 6-9 month timetable is more realistic in my situation to see a difference in W. I am a long way off from that.
• Remember that if I do take risks, they cannot come across in any way as an attempt to change her mind.
• Friendship is the best bedrock for a R.

I already feel like I am forgetting things…