Standing up to the punches

[Redo]

---Journaling ---

I remember this scene from Terminator3 movie when Connor's GF's dad is shot and he tells them to head to mountain in nevada that supposedly holds the skynet core so it can be destroyed. They fight, struggle and get there only to find out that its a bunker designed to survive the inevitable. They were sent there intentionally just so they can survive...

Sometimes i feel like that is what DBing, and more importantly this forum does. It helps us survive the inevitable. Honestly at the beginning of my sitch (mid Jan-11) when i came across this amazing website and the book, i really believed that I can turn the tide around. That soon my wife will come back and we'll all be happy again. I just lived on that hope.

Now, about 3 months down, I am beginning to realize the reality. Reality that wife has checked out forever. That this is the life i have now and what i make of it. Through this time, reading the book and regularly visiting this site has prepared me for the reality. Just as in T3 where connor kept trying to change the fate of the world, i kept hoping the same. I think i have finally realized that i just need to accept and work on getting on from here. This feeling has been coming to me for a week now. Maybe it is a stage. The only thing i pray to god is to keep the fire of love for my wife alive. I need that fire to exist just in case she changes her mind about us. I am so scared that it might die away one day and I might just move on never to look back at her again...