Read the DB and DR book! I have been there before. My H did (and is still doing) the same - EA, refused to stop contact, is still in touch with OW. I did all the same things - beg, plead, not eat, anxiety. Felt like dying. But right now, I have been able to somewhat go on with life, and it gets better with time. It is a roller coaster though.

You have children, so please take care of yourself for your kids. He is still home and does not want to leave, so you have a lot of positives.

One of the things that helped me is the knowledge that most affairs don't last forever.

For now, take a deep breath, and do not do anything drastic or impulsive.

Me:49 H:45 D:12 M:14 T:18
Bomb: 6/26/10
EA: 9/3/10, fizzled out slowly, now ???
11/5/11 Retrouvaille
Finally piecing....
Its peaceful at last, but we got a looong way to go