Hi - thanks for replies. I have read lots on this forum but not always sure how to apply to my situation. My h seems so intent that he does not want to be with me but loves OW. I find it so hard living with him knowing he is seeing her / phoning her / texting her etc but showing no affection to me. Part of me wants him to move out so I don't have to see him as much but then I know this would upset kids. I think he is biding his time to move out until he / she feels ready. When I see him I just want to put my arms round him & tell him I love him. We still sleep in the same bed which is difficult - I want to cuddle up at night. I am not sure if I should ask him to sleep in spare room - in some ways it would be easier but I don't want to push him further away. I am dreading this weekend as we will be spending more time in the house together - I don't want to appear cold or make him think I am 'over him' as I think then he will just leave but he seems to resent me doing any nice things. I also am beginning to feel angry with him for what he is doing to me & kids when I feel that I have made so much effort to save our marriage.
With the 180s I don't know what to do. Over the past 6 months I have tried to do various things differently. He used to say that I never initiated sex so I started to do this, although we are not having sex anymore now. But when I did initiate he made me feel like he was doing me a favour by making love. I used to work a lot in the evenings which I stopped completely. I have started going out on my own and arranging dates for me & h - both of which weren't happening before! I am not sure what else to try.
I am wondering that if he moved out would he then miss me or would it just be easier for him to see her. He seems to think he could have a closer / better relationship with her than me .
I don't know whether to just cut him loose and stop investing time & energy in trying to get him back ........but I do love him and believe that family is important.
