Brian, My STXH has said the same thing to me. Before I got on this new journey, I was like I don't want to be friends I want to be your W. Now I see it in a totally different perspective...

The truth is that in order for you to start at point A to get to Point B. And Point A IS having that foundation of starting out as friends, building trust etc. again. Back down to the bare bones. Is it fair? Does it stink? Yes and yes!! BUT...without it happening this way, it's only going to produce more of the same which is NOT what we want or have worked so hard for.

You are allowed to be emotional about it and you should be. It will only help you get to the other side. Now rally back and ask yourself if the D is going to define who YOU are, is the Seperation going to define who YOU are. Is this the hill you are going to die on?

Get back on track and start re-reading your DR book. Read it over and over and over and over...get what I mean? I have read the book at least a dozen times. It offers alot of enlightenment when you feel that hope is disintegrating.

BITS

M: 48, H: 42 Kids: 0
T: 20 yrs M: 16 yrs. (H's 1st, my 2nd)
WAS/MLC: 12/7/09-I'm not the wife HE deserved
Came home per L: 12/26/09, Left again: 2/6/10
Served: 10/21/10, D FINAL: 6/15/11