Shine on you crazy diamond III

[zengypsy]

FOBD:

Your post made me tear up today. I feel every word that you said to your W in your apology. I have said almost those same words to my STXH in a letter. I have never been afforded the opp to say these words to his face. I don't think he would have the same reaction as your W (he never did acknowledge the letter) but that's ok. My words came and were from the heart. If he felt otherwise, I can't control that.

In terms of your anniversary, I would follow what everyone else said. Don't acknowledge it. Do something for yourself that day to keep busy. This is just a suggestion and might be just a girl thing but from the time my STXH left, I got an old shoe box and just started putting in cards and notes in it. That was my way of acknowledging anniversaies, V-Day, XMAS as well as some random times of the day when I would think of him. I still do that and I hope that one day I can give it to him to show that regardless of what was happening, I still thought of him. That's an action right? Maybe you can start doing the same thing and it will at least get your thoughts out on paper. She will be thinking about it to even if there is NC from her that day.

You did a great job with accountability in your apology. Don't you feel like a HUGE weight has been lifted? Look, it doesn't matter how WE all got here, we are here and we are making a diligent effort to be healthier for ourselves. If our WAS's realize this at some point and want to be part of the team again, WE will have the control if that's the healthier choice for us at that time. There would have to be some "give" from them as well.