This is my 1st post so it may be a bit long so I can get most of the details out there.
I found out about H EA/PA 3 mos. ago. I was devastated but wanted to work through. He agreed to "give it a couple months" but told me he that he hasn't loved me in a long time (never had shared that info with me prior to this revelation). I did all the normal acts the 1st month-- apologizing, crying, begging, sending notes, etc. He went to two MC with me but stated he had no desire to work on the marriage and would not continue in counseling. Since then he continued to pull away more and more (wouldn't go out on dates, wouldn't return phone calls, etc.)
Last month, I found out his EA/PA was still going on hot and heavy. When I confronted him, he threw it all back in my face, saying to me "What did you think was going to happen? This was really inevitable since you never loved me the way I needed." Since this time, the only emotion he shows towards me is anger.
For about 4 wks, I have been employing the LRT. I do not say ILY, do not call, do not text, do not hang around him in the house, go out myself once per week, etc. My only contact is "Good morning" each morning and "How was your day?" after work. And I do these things so the children can see normal, kind interaction as well. But he has shown no renewed interest. In fact, he has only continued to pull away more and will not even make eye contact with me.
He saw a lawyer for a consult 2 weeks ago and continues to tell me I have to "make plans" and tells me I am "in denial." I tell him to do what he had to do, but my choice is to continue to live my life as is until he decides on his next step. He says he is going to file.
So...it has become increasingly difficult to be in the house especially since we spend a lot of time with the kids together (where he does not even acknowledge my existence). I don't know if I am doing something wrong. I stopped all the desperation a month ago and still nothing. I have pulled back tremendously, but he is still as determined as ever to move forward. The only times he will talk to me is when he is pushing me about the D. I live every day in fear of when the papers are going to show up.
Any advice, support, encouragement would be much appreciated.
