Thank you all for your replies. It is so incrediblybhelpful to know other have been where I am--the f***ing twilight zone. I do think he is trying to justify his affair and to explain to himself how he could make the destructive choices he is making. He has been in IC 2x week for four months now and all he has come to is that the has been unhappy for a long time, he never felt loved by me, we are too different and that he wants a divorce. The only thing he has "owned" is that he should have been more in touch with his unhappiness earlier and should have expressed it to me in real time. He was the happiest guy I ever knew and has now decided that he wasn't really happy but just wanted to be happy so badly that he just "acted" as if he were happy. Trust me, he is not an Oscar winning actor--just a lawyer...
