Welcome to my new thread. Not that I'm in a really great frame of mind at the moment.
Having some very deep, dark thoughts at the moment as to MY NEXT MOVE. I've been relatively quiet throughout, especially here the last few months, but now, if you've read my last thread, circumstances have changed.
This simply can't go on the way it has. I keep waiting on him to move, and his move was to break into the shop and take things like a thief in the night. Worse, he used our Daughter to do it.
Need some wise advice or deep meditation. Probably both.
Ok it is time to pull up the big girl panties... (hopefully not granny panties though )
I am so sorry that your H did that.
Unfortunately, it is pretty par for the course.
And I know that it feels like a violation, like you can't breathe for even a single second...
Do what you have to do legally. This is a mess that he created and he is going to have to deal with the consequences.
As for the kids, maybe ask them to not respond to any communication with him regarding you.
If he wants to know your whereabouts, who you are seeing etc..., he needs to get that information from you, not them.
In the meantime, I want to say, thanks for the info about the spray tan, as crows feet have recently begun to make their appearance around my eyes. Uggh...
I live in Florida, I think I will just keep tanning the old fashioned way. By using the sun and a small amount of clothing
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
Separate the legal issues from the emotional ones. I agree with Cat - your H committed and crime and should have to deal with the consequences that come with said crime.
Take a step back, cool off and then figure out how YOU want to proceed. Whatever you do....do for YOU. Period.
BTW, hope you had a blast over in NO.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
If you are 100% sure it was him that took the items...
Then I'm not sure what the laws are in your state ( and you may want to check) .
Those are still legally, his things too.
He went about it pretty cowardly, yet still his things.
What I was told was.....that it is Marital property, and my spouse had every much a right to them as I did. And that I could change the locks if I wanted to, but the law stated that if she wanted something, she had every right to break down the door to get it.
And then, with a sparkle in her eye, my Lawyer told me that it goes both ways......
Just because she moved it, it was still marital property that I had a right to...
I bet you said.."yea, right" ,when you were first told that there was nothing you could say, that would shock any of us huh ?
After reading that again, it sounds kinda...tit for tat there. and I didn't stoop to her level
Knowing the laws though, I did send a simple email stating the laws, and that if anything came up "missing" in the future, that I could legally recoup , if I felt the need..
And if she needed anything, then she could simply ask for them..
The answer would be either yes, or no from there...
I used the law for a boundary , and things quit coming up "missing" after that...
I have an appt. with my L this afternoon. Spoke to my Insurance; they said if H denies taking the things, then can file a claim for replacement. If he doesn't deny it, then he certainly doesn't look good in court, and I can use it against him.
Pray for me please. It is hard some times untangling the emotional from the logical. Doing the 'right' thing, is sometimes hard to see. I am very confused right now; with him, his behavior, etc.
Cat04, you are right about pulling up my big girl panties and moving on. It's just the shock to the system that he would stoop so low. I really didn't think there was anything he could do that would surprise me now.
I'm actually intending to change the deadbolt on the house and the padlock on the shed this weekend. Our property is fully settled and XH has no legal right to anything here anymore, but I can't trust him, and now that I've blocked him on phone and email, I just don't know...it's not about the stuff; it's about feeling like I don't want him coming on my property and being able to enter.
It sickens me that it comes to this for many of us. I know you'll be strong, Punkin.
M45 Bomb 6/09; EA 6/10; Divorced 1/11 Proud single mom of 7 little feline girls and one little feline boy "Fall down 53 times. Get up 54." -- Zen saying
Punkin, I read what has become "mia" in your shed. Well, I can only tell you from my own experience and the experience of posters before us...they do feel very entitled and will take what they want and no matter what or anyone will stop them. My money is on your h just by the way the lock was left and the fact that he had been there.
I'm sorry you are having to deal w/this. You did what you had to do by reporting it. You now need to do a thorough inventory of everything both in and around your home. They tend to take things and you don't even miss them right away.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
)
