[quote][/quote]So, still no concern in her or caring for me. I really feel it is done at this point. I was gone for those 2 weeks and not one time did she initiate the email, chat or phone call.[b][/b]
Because you did.
me:51 H: 48 No kids together M:14 years seperated:Ask him to GET OUT 3/21/11 Piecing 09/14
You still care or you wouldn't be so upset. Listen to verysad2day. Take 48 hours before you do something you will regret. Don't let your emotions get the better of you.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
I called to speak to the kids during those 2 weeks, I did make one mistake and talk to her when I should not have. But other than that one time, I was good!
Sorry that you are feeling this much anxiety. I hope I wasnt the cause but I just dont want you to be blindsided like I was. Did it hurt like hell. The worst I ever felt in my life, but the alternative was her to keep treating me like dirt while she was getting her yayas off with an OM.
So be cool SCared until you know for sure and then be cool in that instance as well.
Dont do ANYTHING when you are emotionally jacked up.
9 BITS
BITS M-46 W-42 M-16y T-19 y s10 s15 BombDec.19/09 Sep-F16/10 Sep Papers signed by W- June 30/10 Recon July 5/10 PA foundOut- Oct 30/10 Mental HospNov/10 moved out Nov/10 Leg Sep Mar 15/11
I am about to go wake her up right now and tell her to just leave now! I cannot take this anymore... I am gonna lose it, Sandi where are you???????
Would she really leave without the kids? I don't think anything would result from you waking her up and trying to make her leave....except a big fight with you asking her about possible A's. Nothing would be accomplished by doing that.
Your emotions are too worked up right now. You need to take two - three days to think about this more. Does it make a difference in your decision about the M? Are you still considering working through the problems with her, and could you continue regardless of what she may have done? Can you do that and maintain your self-respect?
If you were planning to leave her, then why do you need to know if she was or wasn't in an A..."for the family"? Do you feel that they need more of an excuse to justify the break-up?
Most of all, could you handle it if you discovered she was indeed having an A? Would an EA be a deal breaker for you? What if it was a PA?
I agree that you should not ask her if she's been in an A, b/c that is a waste of breath, plus it puts her into "guard" mode. It will alert her that you are on to what she's doing and she will be more secretive. So, no discussion with her at this time.
Just try to calm yourself and think about what you really want with her. Do you want a future with her? If so, at what price are you willing to pay? OTOH, what are some things you will not allow at any price.
Don't know if these questions can even be answered. You may have to see as you go. But, I hope not. I hope you can determine in your heart what you want for "you" and your children from here on. After you think that through....then we can discuss the possible A or not.
Take care of you, okay?
((hugs))
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I SUSPECT my H is involved with OW 3 states away. She isn't the problem, I have come to learn. Sure I spent many hours of my life that I will never get back on searches (of all kind) yet it doesn't change a fuc##ing thing. He still wants a divorce. I ask myself daily many times...why? We all know why. One thing I did learn, most WAS have someone hanging in the shadow. Actually, if I look at all my friends and family, not ONE left that didn't have someone else ALREADY or a standby.
[censored] big time. Now what?
me:51 H: 48 No kids together M:14 years seperated:Ask him to GET OUT 3/21/11 Piecing 09/14
Listen to these people, they are all giving you the best advice they can. Much of what I’ve read from Sandi’s posts here and in other threads is spot on. I worry a little if we expect too much of the vets, but am glad they are here and still care. It is an example we all need to pay forward when we can.
Originally Posted By: verysad2day
The best thing I did today was take some time and read the archive section. Wise words, my friend.
VS2D gave you something to do for the next few days while the emotional rollercoaster smoothes out.
I will be there reading also. The last couple of days have been pretty draining for me and I need a different perspective.
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
I didn't use any software. I was checking her work BB from time to time which for some reason she never setup a password for. For me the signs were:
1) Constant Texting on her personal cell phone. This one was password protected.
2) Not having sex with me, but constantly reading Cosmo magazine.
3) Was not responding in anyway to my improvements.
4) Was depressed around the house and took no interest in the family or doing anything with us or doing any household chores.
5) Spending long hours at work
6) Buying expensive lingerie and wearing it to work
I suspected that something was going on for over a year. Was very satisfying to finally find proof and confront her about her actions. Watching her fantasy world come crashing down helped to gain back some of my confidence and take back some control over a painful situation.
