Bond made a comment in another thread about contacting the OM. That comment stuck with me, it made me think. I have real mixed emotions over it, but I did write something down this afternoon. This will most likely be like the letter I wrote to my W a while back. A way to let out my thoughts, but ultimately never send it. Anyways, this is what I wrote. The thing is, I cannot imagine this guy ever listening to reason. I cannot imagine he would really ever listen to me period, probably just try to use it against me in the fight for my W....


At the end of the day, when each of our lives is inevitably over, we will be judged by what we did with our time here. Not what we said, what we thought, or what we felt, but what we did, the choices we made. I cannot blame you for having feelings for W, she is an absolutely amazing person. What I disagree with, is how you have chosen to act on those feelings. You made a choice to get involved with a married woman. You made a choice to continue that relationship.

I am not writing this to try to make you feel bad yourself. We all make decision we ultimately regret. I have to live with the poor choices I made in my married. I realize how my poor choices led to the situation my family is in. However, we cannot change the choices we made in the past, but we can learn from them and try to make the right decisions going forward.

Ultimately, I am only asking you think about the choices you are making. Whether you believe they are truly the right decisions. Truly the right thing to do.

Love is an emotion, just like anger or sadness. We feel them, but they do not control us. We have to make choices every day how we will act on these emotions. So while you may not be able to stop loving W, you can decide to stop acting on it. You can choose to do the right thing.

Even if you did decide to step aside, and let our family make this decision on our own. I understand W still may never want to work on our marriage again. I fully accept that as a possibility. I just want our family to have a chance to make that decision, without any outside influence. A chance for us to do the right thing as well.

BITS

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.