Was the coach referring to after the A has ended that is would take at least three months?
I find it hard to believe your W will change very much that quickly if she's left her H and family to be with OM. That's a pretty serious step to make. I guess OM could do something real bad that might cause her to change her mind about him, but I wouldn't count on it too much.
She was referring to the length of time people experience that euphoric high associated with the “in-love” emotions of a new relationship. She really emphasized that time is my best friend through all of this. She believes that once my W comes down off of this high, she will at least then be able to start questioning her decision. Of course this does not in any way mean she will change her decision, just that she will at least begin to see things more logically, less affected by the emotions of the new R.
This is why she wanted me to stay in the “friend zone.” She believes that if I am there, in good standings with her when this happens, this will help my chances of her deciding to give us another chance. I guess the other benefit of this; she is in no hurry to file for D. There is no waiting period to file in CA, so she could have since day 1, but has not. In the beginning she was dead set on it, now she never brings it up. This at least continues to buy me time that my coach sees as so important.
With all of that said, I still need to consider changing course. I will talk to my coach a lot about that tomorrow night. I have a feeling though, she will advice me to stick with what I have been doing, but we will see.
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Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
