LBS needing advice...

[Grace_O]

Irish,

Just wanted to let you know you are in my thoughts.

HUGS

[glamgirl]

IB so sorry your marriage has come to this. You put up a good fight and we know this isn't what you wanted. In life, we can only control ourselves. It's too bad some want to lead a selfish life without thinking about the person they married. Continue to focus on you and stay strong. Your ex will some day come to terms with his actions.

[punkin]

Irish,

We all understand if you need time; time for yourself and perhaps away from this Board, but let us know you are okay, Okay?

I choose to look on the positive side and believe you are taking a small vacation, perhaps wind-surfing in Hawaii or welcoming the sparrows back to Capistrano. And if you are not doing these things, they are things you should consider doing in the near future. (((IB)))

[AntoniaB]

Yeah I second what Punkin says, I want to hear from you here--just drop us a line to let us know you're getting on alright.

[seeking answers]

Irish,

The line forms to the left. Just let us know that you're OK.

(((Hugs)))

[dl443322]

IB, sweetie, I know how hard this is. I know it is going to take time for you to come to grips with it. Be especially kind to yourself right now.

We care about you. You are valued and respected and worthy. So please when you can, just write us a short note that you are doing ok.

[irishblessings]

Thanks all for caring. Don't really know what to say right now. I am in Texas with family. Wonderful people who love me. Wonderful people who loved H. He was godfather - he was "uncle hairy...."

Just different. I haven't broken down. I've just let myself go. No expectations / no responsibilities. Just relaxing. Will catch up on site once I gather my thoughts!

I love you all - and thank you for caring!!!!

[punkin]

Glad to hear from you Irish. Also, glad you are able to relax and be with family.

We'll be here when you are ready.

[irishblessings]

So, I'm in Texas. Not alone - but alone. Many moments feel like an out of body experience. I have no idea what I am doing. I am avoiding taking control of my life - of my next steps. Avoidance...

The grieving is changing. The finality of a divorce has moved me into another dimension and I'm not sure what to do.

Very strange. Even eery in a way.

[AntoniaB]

Oh I so understand your meaning about the finality of the divorce making the grief feel different and out of body. For me it really pushed me into a sort of "go into the new life as a single woman and conquer it", get things done, do work on my house and yard, start reclaiming my hobbies, get me back, that sort of thing. I had a moment in my yard at night at my firepit where I looked around and said "you know what? none of it is different. He's just not part of this anymore. But I thought him leaving would change everything around me and frankly, it really didn't. It just changed me."

So that was comforting, I guess, but in the past week I've felt like the old pre-divorced pining for him depressed woman that I was. So I think that's all just cycling through the stages of grief.

If you're in this sort of "odd" dimension now, it may be a way you are experiencing shock again at the change, which is numbing you to things, but in a way that's good. You can deal with it all in good time.

Right now just enjoy your family :-)