Another interesting week. H and I took D to a weekend camp. It was a 3.5 hour drive. Thought we might have some deep conversations on the way home but we ended up just enjoying music. I had to work the next morning and we got back home late, so he just dropped me off and he went back to his place. On Saturday night, he came over and we had some dinner after I got home from work. But he started getting a little visibly anxious and opted to go back to his place when it got a bit late. I said goodbye and went to bed myself. I was awoken at about 2:30 am by my dog who likes to bark at opossums. I checked my phone and saw that H had sent an email at about 130 am saying that he wanted to come over but he had done that a lot recently and thought it was getting weird so he'd refrain. I was a bit bummed but so be it. I got up to use the restroom. When I returned to the room, I was surprised (and slightly freaked out) to find him standing there. I guess he had arrived while I had been in the restroom. He plopped into bed with me and we had some fun and talk slightly turned to R talk. Then, all of a sudden, at about 4 in the morning, he tells me to put my pajamas on. I asked why. He said he wanted to take me to his place. Smartly, I also took along a pair of sweats and off we went.
He moved out a year ago. I have never seen his place. I've offered many times, when he was ill, to bring him meds or food, but he's always declined. He told me later he was always embarassed. So this was significant. Once there, he gave me a brief tour (which wasn't long since his place is very small) and showed me the furniture he'd purchased and we briefly discussed where things should go. All things considered, the place looked a lot better than I'd feared. We ended up in his bed and he asked me an interesting question. I had mentioned that I was glad to see him when he came over. He asked me why I never asked him to stay. I was a bit surprised by the statement. I wasn't able to answer it well. I explained that I didn't want to pressure him, but part of it was that I never knew from day to day, what his state of mind was. I reminded him that just a month ago, if I had asked him to stay, it would have been taken badly. And that it was clear he didn't even want me in his bed while at the conference. He didn't disagree, but still made the point that perhaps I wasn't being true to myself. I couldn't really argue with that, but unfortunately, the whole topic ended up bringing me quite bad memories and I got a bit teary. Somehow the topic vaguely got on the topic of the x-OW and he asked (again) if I had any questions. I told him I wasn't so much interested in the past as I was the current state of things. He said he still talks to her occasionally but they sort of had a falling out recently. I asked why. Apparently, she had offered to fly him out to the midwest to help her pack up all her stuff for her move down here. He declined (although it seemed like it was a half-hearted decline) and she ended up having other guys help her and it was a bad move and problems occured etc etc. He said after that she was a bit snarky because I guess that's the sort of thing a boyfriend is supposed to do. I asked "does she still consider you her boyfriend?" He said that he thought she did, and that she still holds out some hope. He did mention that he knew that moving back in required ending all of that. I appreciate his honesty, yet I continue to be amazed at the continued level of contact they have and his inability to let her go.
Needless to say, we fell asleep at his place and we needed to leave mid morning on Sunday to go get D. So I was glad I brought clothes other than my sweats to walk out of the house with. The drive was pleasant and all three of us had a nice dinner. But then he needed to go. Trying to take his perspective, I told him that I would like it if he stayed, but I understood if he needed to go. He seemed to appreciate my effort and said he'd go and get his overnight stuff and come back. Which he did and he spent the night.
The following day, he was plagued with anxiety issues though. I realize he's going through a lot, but it's hard not to take those types of things personally. And over the course of this week, I've been worried that at some point, *I* might not start having my own MLC. There's just so much to deal with. Yes, he's moving back next week. It's what I dreamed about a year ago. Now I look at it with worry and concern. He's not over the x-OW. He's pretty much told me that. He states love and concern for me (and I believe him to a certain extent), but that's still a pretty hard pill to swallow. I had a dream last night where, in my dream, I was listening in to H's phone conversations without him knowing. He was talking to someone and referred to me as "the one he was with" and x-OW as the "fun one he wanted". I woke up at 3 am and couldn't go back to sleep. The problem is I don't think that's TOO far from the truth. H is currently away for several days working and texted me that he was having dinner with a female coworker of his. It didn't strike me as odd at first, but then it hit me. Why does he do this? He complained to me, at length, about this particular coworker. That she was whiny, inept, and a pain. And the first evening he's in town, he has dinner with her. He's always been a big flirt. He's been in more situations than I can mention, where if he wanted to sleep with someone, he could have. I can honestly say I've never been in that situation because I just don't put myself in those types of situations. So perhaps it was bad DB of me, but I just asked him via text if it would be ok if I had a solo dinner with some guy I was interested in (and at one point he was very flirty with this coworker). Rather than answering the question, he asked who I was interested in. Since I was driving, I didn't respond. He took this to mean that I had initiated radio silence and I think it freaked him out a bit. But I really didn't even WANT to answer at that point. I'm starting to question my sanity. Does this man really want me? Am I just setting myself up for future pain? Don't get me wrong, I truly believe he WANTS to make this work. I'm just not convinced he won't change his mind at some point down the road.
He asked me to call him to talk. I told him it probably wasn't a good idea since I was very confused. He said conversation will help confusion. Part of the purpose in me writing this was the hope that it would help clarify things in my mind. I'm not sure what or how much to tell him. The x-OW thing bugs the hell out of me. I've been patient. And I've never demanded anything. But now HE has made the commitment to move back. I think I'm within my rights to start setting some boundaries. But it just feels so weird. The last time I was open with him about some of my confusion and inner pain, he freaked out on me. So while I would like to discuss some of these things, I really don't want to deal with yet another freak out. Not sure whether I'll end up calling him tonight or not.
My H says he's in awe of my changes, that he wants US to work, and he'll be moving back in one week. I thought none of this would ever happen. And here it is. And yet, it's so much more confusing than one could have ever predicted. *sigh*
"Love me when I least deserve it, for that is when I need it the most"
M18 Me39,H42 D16 Bomb 1/10 Moved out 3/10 OW 6/10 H wants to R,OW gone 11/10 H moves back 5/11 H wants to wear rings again 9/11
Have had a few more interesting conversations with H. He continues to need to "escape" to his place. When he does, he often feels better and then comes back over to the house at 1 or 2 in the morning and hops into bed with me. He's usually apologetic and R talks ensue. He told me flat out that part of what he's struggling with is that the "spark" that was once present in our R is gone. Basically, I think he's trying to say he's not "in love" with me. And that bothers him and confuses him because logistically, according to him, due to my changes, I'm everything he could ever want.
I told him that if he DID feel that, I would find that strange. We have been apart for a year. He started pulling back WAY before that. I'm a different person, he's a different (and broken) person. It's going to take time. But also, I mentioned, he's still not over x-OW. I told him that I understood that. He ended that R not because he didn't care for her, but because he felt he needed to keep the marriage together for the sake of D. The fact that it continues to have nothing to do with me stings a lot, but in a way, I don't completely buy it.
While he was gone and with OW, he STILL texted me and emailed me things he was interested in. He still had lunch/dinner with D and I on occasion and talked with me more than D. When he was overdrugged up and confused in the middle of the night, it was ME he contacted. In a way, while he was with OW, he couldn't let go of ME. I don't think he's every really thought of that. I don't think he has the perspective yet to know that. And I don't think he may even remember a lot of that.
Anyhow, I told him that ending the R with x-OW in that way kind of left it hanging. It didn't die a normal death, it was kind of rudely interrupted (by him, but nevertheless, it was sudden). And by his own admission, he's kind of stringed her along this whole time. I told him that while I understood the reasons, as long as he hadn't closed that door completely, there was no way of "working on us". It cannot be done while simultaneously maintaining contact with her. He said little, but did admit quietly that he probably wasn't completely over her yet.
He mentioned that he was considering extending his lease a few months. I told him to do what he needed to do. In a way, I think that would be a good decision. I have been quite worried about his ability to maintain sanity in our home when he can't stay a full 24 hours without needing to escape. Once I again, I reiterated the importance of doing introspective work on himself. He continues to try and change his environment in the hopes that he will feel better. I reminded him that we have no REAL control of our environments and things can change on a dime. Only by being in control of ourselves can we truly find peace.
Despite the slow progress, I do see progress in him. He recently, of his own volition, bought a book about changing your perspective in life. It was written by a psychologist who doesn't just dish out "self-help lingo". He actually makes hypotheses, tests them, and finds out what works. Often, it's strange simple things that work. Anyhow, H has been talking to me about some of the things he's read. His ability to read a book is still very lacking. H has always been a voracious reader and pre-MLC, H could read a whole novel in a day. Now, his MLC brain seems to limit his ability to concentrate. He's lucky if he gets through 2 chapters in a sitting. It's frustrating for me to watch, but it is what it is.
So these next few weeks will be interesting. If he DOES move back, it has to be this week. But like I said, I actually kind of hope he waits a bit. I think he's rushing things. Next week, his parents and sister's family are vacationing in a nearby town. We will be going out there to spend time with them. H has formally requested that I go along. So that will mean that the 3 of us will have to stay together for the weekend. Add that normal stress to the stress of his family and my poor H is in for a real test. As am I.
"Love me when I least deserve it, for that is when I need it the most"
M18 Me39,H42 D16 Bomb 1/10 Moved out 3/10 OW 6/10 H wants to R,OW gone 11/10 H moves back 5/11 H wants to wear rings again 9/11
Caught up on your sitch. Wow! You are really strong and very smart. Seems like H needs space and time to get out of the fog. I read My Husband'S Affair Became The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me by Anne Bercht. She maintains that it takes a good 2 months at least (after no contact with OW) for the fog to even begin to lift.
In my case OW left mid October and I am just now seeing my H open up more and more with more insight, reflection, and truth telling. He too has been saying things like he doesn't deserve me etc. He also had the insight that I'm the only person who never left him.
I'm much more emotional than you are. You are a great model and inspiration. I look forward to watching the progress.
MZ
M 55 H 58 M 24 T 29 S 22,21, 19 Bomb 4/10 It (A) really isn't about you 11/2013 We all have work to do
The truth will set you free, but it will almost kill you first.
Our sitch really has so much similarities...I had the same feeling about what happened to my H and x-OW - that it was too soon, to early for them to have cut off contact in November. I remember posting that I should have been really happy but for some reason knew that it was not the best thing that could happen. Just like your H, contact between x-OW and my H resumed, although it is more of "stringing along" as well, with talk more about work, projects, etc. according to h (I do believe him, for some reason).
H and I talked last Sunday, and one of the things he said was that illogical as it may seem, he knows that nothing would really come out of his relationship with OW, and yet he still wants to find out for himself.
I guess the closure he needs is not there.
On another note: the convention in OW's town is coming up next week. I am so nervous.
Me:49 H:45 D:12 M:14 T:18 Bomb: 6/26/10 EA: 9/3/10, fizzled out slowly, now ??? 11/5/11 Retrouvaille Finally piecing.... Its peaceful at last, but we got a looong way to go
Dealing with the R post-OW is, in some ways, more challenging than when he was still with her. It's way more confusing, that's for sure. And Angel, best of luck with the convention. You know I've been there. Buy yourself some amazing outfits and make sure you look (and feel) confident. Hold your head up high. You've done nothing wrong and have no reason to feel intimidated.
As for me, this week has been interesting. H continues to contact me more and more. He will send simple texts with just a smiley face. I woke up this morning to find 3 emails from him since last night. Nothing major, just thoughts he had or links he recommends.
Monday is our normal sushi night and he's started asking me to go to the shooting range with him while D is at her martial arts class. We had fun doing that and then he ended up meeting us at the house so we could all go to the restaurant together. We've been doing sushi every Monday since about August. This is the first time we've ever arrived together. After dinner, H came back to the house to have some cake that D had made. We ended up watching a movie that H brought and had a good time. We put D to bed and H was on the couch. I could see he was getting anxiety again. Yet, he implied that he would be staying the night. I asked him if that was what he meant. He said "is that OK?" I told him that I always welcomed him, but I could tell he wasn't well and I wanted him to be comfortable. He said the anxiety attacks were starting to piss him off. I told him that I was going to get ready for bed, and that he could do what he needed to do. After I got ready, he came to the bedroom and said goodnight. He had decided he needed to go. I told him that was fine and wished him a goodnight.
I could tell he felt awful for leaving but needed to. So I texted him a few minutes later and wished him a good night. He said a sad face back. I sent him *hugs* and he sent back "thanks :)" That was slightly against my normal "no text unless I'm texted" routine, but this felt different and I felt he needed to hear that it really was OK for him to leave if he needed to. He seemed to appreciate it.
Didn't see him on Tuesday, but on Tuesday evening, I had to go to my pole dancing classes and left D at home. H ended up stopping by, picking her up and ran some errands. When they got back, we ended up watching another movie and had a good time, but again, H needed to leave. This time, however, he came back about 1 in the morning and hopped into bed. I was half asleep so there was no monkey business, but he was just super snuggly. Then about 4, he told me he needed to go. I found that profoundly weird but, there ya go. He gave me long hug and said "Thank you. I know it may not seem like it, but this really helps a lot" And then he was off. I'm not entirely sure what part of coming over for a few hours and sleeping in a different bed helps, but I'm not in MLC.
I had to work all day yesterday. H offered to bring D by to join me for lunch. This was something he used to do often back in the day. So it was a pleasant surprise to hear the offer, which I took him up on. And we had a good time. When I got home, we ate dinner together and then he had to go.
In thinking about things, he continues to move forward, slowly, but surely. They say in MLC, they start renewing relationships little by little and the spouse is usually last. I've been seeing that. Back in the fall, he started paying attention to the dog again. He's asked more and more about my parents (who love him and whom he's always gotten along with great). And little by little, he's been opening up to me more and more. Yesterday, he sent an email to my mom and cc'd me on it. In the email, he expounded upon my profound changes, how he had hope for the future, and how he needed to work on himself in order to be worthy of me. As nice as his words were, they are just words. What meant more to me was the fact that he's initiating contact with my parents again. My mom has told me she's broken down and cried about the demise of our R. I know that his email will lift her spirits some.
His texts are getting more and more deep every day. Back in the day, he used to send me *smooches* all the time. He doesn't do that now. But he does send *hugs*. I noticed the lack of smooches. So I was surprised that he actually sent me a *smooch* yesterday evening. A small, but significant step forward. I don't plan on hearing ILY for a loooong time (if that ever happens).
As for x-OW, I'm not quite sure where that stands. H made a few posts on Monday and she commented all over them (as usual). But yesterday, H made another post that should've been right up her alley and yet I've seen nothing from her. Kind of makes me wonder but I'll just continue to observe.
"Love me when I least deserve it, for that is when I need it the most"
M18 Me39,H42 D16 Bomb 1/10 Moved out 3/10 OW 6/10 H wants to R,OW gone 11/10 H moves back 5/11 H wants to wear rings again 9/11
good afternoon girlfriend! just caught up on your sitch...sorry i have been away. My own sitch is CRAZY right now and you will have to make sure you have plenty of time to read what has/is happening to me
Truth be told, I only care about you (ditto for you too I know)not your H. I don't think you are ready for him to move back in. You are expressing more anxiety than what is normal for you and I am worried about you.
Also, you keep saying X-OW. IMO she is not and X. if he is still talking to her and she is asking him to help her move because that is what a "boyfriend" does - she is NOT an X. She is the OW. You are taking him for his word that he is stringing her along, but that it is over...remember how many times you have told me actions speak louder than words? Take your own advice here. You are right to set up boundries. They are for your own protection and self preservation.
I too think he is making progress, but not being able to stay at the house all night is a problem, and if he doesn't have somewhere to go if he moves back in???? This could lead a complete breakdown for him.
Don't rush it is the only advice I can give.
Hang in there **hugs**
TAMF m:41 xh:41 T: 20 M: 15 D: 16 D: 14 Bomb dropped: 7/3/10 separated: 7/15/10 H moved in to new apt. with OW: 7/1/11 divorced: 8/26/12
I think you are dead on about the OW. I didn't agree with you when I first read it. But the more I think about it, you're right. The only reason she still feels like he's her "boyfriend" is because he allows her to think that. He hasn't ended it.
H did NOT move back in. I think it was the right choice, but yet again shows that talk is just talk. Had a long conversation with H last night. It appears he's retracting once again. Says he still feels so confused. He's concerned that his anxiety issues at the house may mean he's really not comfortable there, therefore, maybe it's not meant for him to be there. He told me that he feels it would be best if we stop having sex because he thinks its further confusing the issue. He said that it is starting to feel wrong that he'll come over, we'll sleep together, but then he'll have to leave because of anxiety. Makes it more like a booty call than anything else. I'm fine with his decision. I don't want to cause more stress. But this whole conversation pretty much wore me out mentally. I again mentioned my theories on needing to work on oneself. But while I think he really wants to get better, I don't think he's ready to work on himself yet. He still concentrates so much on external issues rather than looking within. And several of his comments indicated to me he's backing up significantly AGAIN and reevaluating AGAIN.
I woke up this morning and thought about a lot. Cried a bit. And thought some more. H's family is visiting over the weekend. The plan is for the 3 of us to meet them at a nearby town and stay there the weekend with them. I went back and forth in my mind whether I should still go. H still says he wants me to go because I asked him last night. But I'm getting a little pissed. I don't want to go and pretend like we are a happy family unit for his family. He still REALLY hasn't given up OW. He still doesn't know what he wants to do. As much as I love him, I don't want to keep playing this game. So at first, I decided I wouldn't go. But then I felt bad because I wouldn't see my in-laws and they are looking forward to it. Plus, that would leave D minus one parent. So then I considered not going but at least driving up for dinner or something. Now I just don't know. I feel like I'm getting back on the merry-go-round. He'll retract, run away, talk to OW more, then regret it and come back round to me again. I don't want that.
I've set up an appt to talk with a DB coach today. I'm hoping I can get some insight and some advice about where to go from here. Based on H's actions today, he wants to continue our close personal friendship. It's just the sex thing he wants to change I guess. He's texted me numerous times and emailed me a few times. I've only responded to one text because it was a direct question. But even then, I waited awhile because I really just want time to think.
One last thing to mention is that I noticed today, that OW has no longer blocked me on FB. Not sure why. Not sure whether to ask H. Yet another thing to ask during my session I guess.
"Love me when I least deserve it, for that is when I need it the most"
M18 Me39,H42 D16 Bomb 1/10 Moved out 3/10 OW 6/10 H wants to R,OW gone 11/10 H moves back 5/11 H wants to wear rings again 9/11
Alb - I am so sorry that you are yet again on this MLC ride. back and forth, up and down. It is amazing how confused they get and the fact that they can't make a decision about anything.
It is so frustrating
TAMF m:41 xh:41 T: 20 M: 15 D: 16 D: 14 Bomb dropped: 7/3/10 separated: 7/15/10 H moved in to new apt. with OW: 7/1/11 divorced: 8/26/12
I think you should go. The way I look at it is that you should not let your relationship problems with H sully your relationship with your in-laws.
I was just with my in-laws over the weekend and I felt that H was very appreciative of the fact tghat I confidently handled my interactions with them, and that our family is intact in a sense in spite of our M problems. I think that your H is not ready, but eventually he will return. There seems to be light at the end of the tunnel. Your H is very smart, and is a thinker. Anxiety disorders are common in highly intelligent people - they can see further than most and tend to over-analyze. Hopefully his reasonable and logical side will direct him to the right decision.
I think its a great thing for you to continue a pesonal friendship, as it is reconnection on the mental level. H probably feels that he needs to re-acquaint with you - remember that you are both undergoing a lot of changes and some of them are happening below the surface. Not adding sex to the mix is wise - as it will only confuse the issue, physical attraction per se could want him to prematurely move back in, when it should not be the primary motivator.
The biggest hurdle, that is true, is OW. But as they always say, OW is a band-aid, and there must still be something that needs a band-aid in his life. Once that is gone, OW will fall of like a scab, hopefully.
Like my sitch, H also is stringing OW along. We have not gotten to the point of having personal friendship, and I believe that is what he gets from OW. He himself said he felt we did not have common ground - no connection.
I have not worked on making our companionship comfortable and companionable, I have not regained his "trust" that I would not resent him or extract revenge, that is why he is still wary of me. In your case, it looks like you have gotten over that hurdle. If I were you, I will not bring up that wall again. You know what will bring up that wall....right?
Hang in there, Alb! HUGS!
Me:49 H:45 D:12 M:14 T:18 Bomb: 6/26/10 EA: 9/3/10, fizzled out slowly, now ??? 11/5/11 Retrouvaille Finally piecing.... Its peaceful at last, but we got a looong way to go
Thanks for your kind words Angel. I did end up deciding to go. Just the act of me talking to a counselor ended up causing some major ripples and it was unintended.
H and I share an online calendar. It helps coordinate child issues and scheduling out of town trips (which we both end up having to do quite a lot). I have a tendency to forget things easily unless I write them down, so I use my calendar a lot. So when I made my counselor appt, I put it in the calendar. I hesitated to do so because I knew H could see, so I just labeled it "Jodi" so it wasn't obvious what was up. Nonetheless, he saw it listed and asked me via text (because he was out of town) what it meant. I briefly considered what my response should be but decided honesty was in order and simply said "a counselor". H asked if it was for me or D and I said it was for me. Well....apparently that totally freaked H out. He said he had a very visceral response to this news because he sees me as unshakeable. As always having all my chit together. And I guess it shook him to the core to see that perhaps I TOO have my own issues. Although it was via text, I could see that it freaked him out. All of the sudden he was suggesting M counseling, saying that he's spent too much time talking to me about his issues but hasn't spent any time listening to me. And flat out telling me he didn't want to lose me (which is really the first time he's indicated a WANT of ME rather than just not minding being around me for the sake of D). He asked me what he needed to do to make my life easier. I said "stop having a girlfriend". He agreed but then asked if still wanted to "date him". I told him "not while you can't leave your girlfriend". He felt that "girlfriend" was a strong term but said he understood what I meant. Unbeknownst to me (but he told me later), he felt super nauseous and had a major anxiety attack.
The DB session itself was pretty good. It was the pick me up I needed at the time and I ended the call feeling good. Jodi gave me some good reminders and made me think about a few things in a new way. She said that H's decision to take sex off the table is probably a good thing since he IS stringing the OW along, but I'm not to act any different. In fact, continue being my alluring self just to make him remember what it is he's not having.
H knew when my call ended and was ready and waiting for me to call him afterwards. I had a pole dancing class 30 minutes later and didn't really want to get into TOO deep of a conversation or recount my session. So I delayed calling until about 10 minutes before my class and just said a few words. It was then that H told me how the counselor news had affected him and he said he wanted to talk about it later (something Jodi said I should refrain from doing too much of). I was vague but just ended the call by saying I had to go writhe and act slutty next to a pole now. That seemed to please him
We never did talk any further about that or my session. He got pretty ill and drove home that evening and pretty much went to bed. Work kept us apart the next day. On Thursday morning, H was coming by in the morning so I could take him to get his car tuned up prior to our road trip. As I was waiting for him to arrive, I was going over things in our shared calendar because I was adding a few items. I was surprised to see an entry in his calendar that was actually a request. I can send him requests and it'll show up with a question mark. Once he accepts, then it'll become permanent. The request wasn't something I had sent so I was intrigued and clicked on it. Come to find out, it was sent by OW. Needless to say, I was peeved. Especially since our D ALSO shares this calendar. Once he showed up, I showed him the entry, told him THAT was why I continued to call OW his girlfriend, and that that type of thing cannot continue to happen, especially on a family calendar. He apologized and was clearly shooken up quite a bit. Once I said my peace, I did my best to continue my day as I would have previously and didn't stay bitchy or angry. It wouldn't have served a purpose. Unfortunately, he hadn't gotten a lot better from his illness and actually went to the doctor later that morning and got some meds. That evening, we met up with his family and just hung out for a bit before calling it a night. That was the first time since the counselor incident that H and I spent time together and he was very obviously trying to be affectionate with me.
The following day we went to a theme park with his family. His mom, in particular, as sweet as she is, is SOOO frustrating to be around. And fortunately for me, H feels the same way. So we both kind of leaned on each other for support that day in order to make it through. But nonetheless, we managed to have some fun and H was insistent on trying to hold my hand or hug me or something throughout the entire day. I give him props for making it through the day given how crappy he was feeling. Unfortunately, he didn't get much better and the day really wore him out. So although we had planned to do another event the following day, H told his family he really just needed to go back home. We decided to leave D with them so she could spend the weekend with her cousins and I drove back with H. I will drive back over there this evening and pick her up.
That meant that H and I had a day alone without D. Once I drove back, I figured H would go back to his place and sleep. Surprisingly, he chose to do that at the house instead and still hasn't gone back to his place. We went out to dinner and then watched a movie together. And he slept with me all night and didn't sneak out in the middle of the night. This morning as we were still snuggled, he tried to initiate sex. I reminded him that that was off the table by his rules. He said that since they were his rules, he could change them. I sweetly said that his rules made sense and I didn't want to confuse him. He reluctantly agreed and went back to snuggling. I couldn't sleep as much as him (since he's still not feeling well) so I got up late morning. He still remains in the house. He seems more mentally stable than before, but the OW issue has to be figured out.
Interestingly, I've been RE-blocked on FB by OW. I was only unblocked for about a day and I never mentioned it to H. I kind of think she unblocked me so she could see the comments and stuff that I'VE made on H's posts. She's clearly insecure about the whole situation and wants to keep tabs on me. Sometimes we worry so much about our own issues that we fail to realize that WE are constantly on the minds of the OP.
Overall I'm feeling a bit more optimistic. H knows what needs to be done. It's just a matter of seeing if it will happen.
"Love me when I least deserve it, for that is when I need it the most"
M18 Me39,H42 D16 Bomb 1/10 Moved out 3/10 OW 6/10 H wants to R,OW gone 11/10 H moves back 5/11 H wants to wear rings again 9/11
