How do you trust someone who isn't sorry?

[AJM80]

Hope - one think DB coach said to me on phone recently. The tendency is to overly forgive/make it easy for spouse to come back. Kind of mentally saying, oh, I feel bad for you, let me help you.

Well, with that you are saying 1 of 2 things. 1) You're not good enough, you can't do this on your own (mothering or setting a low bar) or 2) I'm not good enough/I don't deserve better than ok. Well, he's capable of being good enough and you do deserve better. Maybe not having cash to check his bags would have given him a better understanding of what it was like for you, stranded in Jan. Not like he asked for help and you ignored him...you went out of your way to make life easier for him and to help him. It's not awful to be a nice, good person..just be careful not to do it all the time. Because if it is too easy for him, neither one of you are going to attach the high value to this relationship that you both need to have to be happy and recover from the crap lately. (Don't make his life harder, but don't make it easier either - he's making decisions and has to deal with consequences)